Like a kick to the teeth, but for your soul!

The Heart Is

2011-07-29T18:42:00.000-07:00

There is nothing greater then the heart.
In one organ layes the immeasurable capacity to expound great truth and live in total denial of said truth.
It is, to quote the Torah, deceitful above all else.
It must be followed but never trusted, heeded in it's warnings but forsaken for it is prone to flights of fancy.
It is immense in it's persuasion of the mind. It will stop at nothing to deny an attraction that the least informed could not hope to miss, yet the heart will cling to any straw argument that would allow the slightest Ray of hope in the most doomed of pairings.

Such is love, such is humanities greatest virtue and vice.
The great defender and the achilles heel of the soul.
What shall we suggest would rectify this eternal dilemma?
I, in my wisdom, would purpose nothing.
Yes, nothing is my solution, for nothing will help; and nothing will be heard of it.
Many a man has waxed eloquent with musings of love and the same is said over and over with much passion.
Simply put, the heart wants what the heart wants. Thus it is pointless to argue with what is already set in stone.

You would tell me that you have seen hearts changed in the past, and I would tell you that this is foolish.
You have seen no such thing.
You have only glimpsed the outward impression of such a change, but no such change has occurred.
All that has transpired is the shifting forward of the secondary want.
Usually it is the want of comfort, security or in the modern tongue, Stability.
This is not a change it is the lie.

Now in the recesses of the heart high on a shelf that can only be glimpsed by it's creator sits a box.
It is labeled "what if" or "if only".
This box contains the true wish of your life, the one you can't mention in decent company.
It is often the dirty little secrete, that you scream in your mind while in an others embrace.
It is simple enough, so simple that in a moment of release it could shatter all the pretty lies you built to protect it.
If you were to be honest for a moment you know that this moment of release is the only thing in life that you want and dread in such unison that you walk a constant wire of love and hate.
And you are utterly torn between which side of the war you are on.

Oddly enough you fight your own heart and soul not knowing whether you should be flight or surrendering.
Here I must interject my own opinion that sometimes the only way to win is to surrender.
But how do you know this is the truth and not the lie?
Well that's the rub. If you knew in our mind it would be your mind that makes the choice and let's be honest the truly grand adventures are not reasoned with the mind but driven by the heart and felt in the soul.
And if it's the lie....
Then this is life and you should not be surprised that once again your heart led you there.

I will not say it led you wrong because it led you to live life, and what is a life not lived if not a lie itself.
It is that lie that keeps your heart in longing and your box hid away upon that high shelf.
Take it down and let it breath. Just for a moment and see if anything comes of it. If not take a knife and kill it if you can, but don't pause. Don't for one second listen to it's lies because if you do then it will win, and the last thing you want is to follow the shiester down the rabbit hole.
Down there are weird and wonderful things.
Things that have no place in proper society.
Things that can't be trusted as true.
But a what if it's no lie?

FREEDOM

2010-05-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

Today marks a special day in our lives. Jen and I are happy to be experiencing a sort of freedom.

Freedom is the state of not being imprisoned, enslaved, or otherwise constrained, or more specifically:

Free will, the ability of rational agents to exercise control over their actions, decisions, or choices
Political freedom, the absence of interference with the sovereignty of an individual by the use of coercion or aggression
Economic freedom, most commonly defined as the freedom to produce, trade and consume any goods and services acquired without the use of force, fraud or theft

Take a guess as to which of these we are feeling today. If you have know idea what has been taking place over the last few months, or year for that matter, you may not want to guess.

I simply put much of my time has felt like this:
....and sometimes I would wonder why I was even forced to be at my desk when the people I was called to help where not in the room with me.

Then of course there where the awkward social interactions often miss labeled as "work meetings".
The worst part is that I'm not the slightest bit interested in meeting with someone who just wants to talk and who has no real interest in my opinion to begin with. So though I couldn't get to it today I am hoping to have a seen much like this take place soon, but with a cell phone not a photocopier. Then I'll kick back and relax with a beautiful woman named Jennifer....

...or spend sometime in peaceful contemplation.

Sometimes you have to let go.....

Sometimes you just have to KICK IT IN THE TEETH!!!

FREEDOM!!!!

In the fog and seeing clearer

2010-02-09T08:20:00.000-08:00

This morning I awoke to a weird feeling of unclear clearness. I have had no responses to my job search and I have no idea were I should be looking for a job. The other side of this was that I felt completely comfortable knowing that this is were God has brought me.

Last night at college group we spent time sharing the scripture that encourages, gives hope and allows us to be still in the storms of life. I was completely blessed by the sharing of my brothers and sisters. Thus today I have no doubt that the reading and sharing of God's word with in a fellowship has a greater impact on the day to day life then the highly orchestrated and somewhat ritualistic services we often attend on a weekly basis.

I in no way wish to come off as anti-preparation. If fact I did a certain amount of preparation to facilitate the discussion last night. The point I am making is that the exchange that takes place between the Body of Christ when sharing the impact of God's Word in our lives should never be over shadowed by our desperate need to discriminate information.

Boil it down

...and we are a body and a body has got to share the nutrition. The blood cycles through the whole body. The blood brings life.

...and when one part of the body is hurting the rest of the body feels it. The body can choose to feel it and move to heal it, or the body can ignore it and aid in the malnourishment of it.

...but when the body moves to encounter what God is doing in and through it's parts, that is when we begin to see the broad stroke of Scripture God is painting across all His creation to reveal Himself.

...and this amazing, all powerful, creator God uses the sharing of changing lives to change lives.. We are all in a growing process with in a hostel environment. Why pretend otherwise? Why pretend that we are alone?

So here I am in the fog and seeing clearer then yesterday. I have been struck by the knowing that no matter how alone I may feel, there is no chance that I walk this road alone.

So I invite you to share.

The Little Comforter

2009-12-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

The other day I was very sad, this is not uncommon for me of late. On that day I was also very upset in a very verbal and emotional way. Now I didn't feel much like talking. In fact I was laying alone in bed. This was about to change.
Being a father means that I am responsible to help my children understand life, and I that day I felt that Zoe deserved an explanation as to why her normally fun daddy was not so fun.

So I had her crawl up next to me and I began to explain. "Sometimes when daddy is really upset it's just because he misses Grampy so much." To this my four year old responds by taking the hem of her dress and wiping my tears and reminding me that Grampy is in heaven.

So I had a few more tears in that conversation, which she wiped and she gave me a few kisses.
Then suddenly the "tickle monster" came back and fun times broke out again.

Thank God for little comforters.

Heeding Hope and Health Part 1

2009-08-31T08:11:00.000-07:00

August 31

It has been an "interesting" year. I have been up and down, in the valley and on the mountain top. Through it all the one constant has been the unwavering "knowing" of Adonia.

ADONIA "Master, Lord, LORD"

As all things seem to crumble, my Lord has never shown a sign of weakening and thus my foundation has never been cracked or worn. This is a constant comfort and provides the stability that is so often allusive.

I tend to place things on top of the foundation -false flooring, cozy carpets, stone tile of various kinds- all of which look very nice and often gain me complements, yet they are not the foundation. They will be the things I walk on and as I walk this path they change the sound of my footsteps. As I gave this more thought it struck me that in decorating my foundation I inadvertently change the sound of God's voice. I no longer hear the simple sound of my feet on foundation.

No, I have added that which changes, muffles and distorts sound. Every piece of flooring or furniture now keeps the sound of the foundation from resounding as I walk. Soon I begin to imagine that the decorative things which I have added are the foundation that supports my feet.

It is then that the true master of the house rises from the floor, near the corner where I had "assigned" him to work. He begins to critique my work, but in the process begins to remove the decoration -pointing out my sloppy and inconsistent work- work marked by a general lack of skill.

I am at first offended then embarrassed and finally relieved. So relieved that a master craftsman has taken over a job in which I was way over my head. I am startled by how much needs to be removed. I thought some of my work could survive the critique. Here at the point of having everything stripped bare I begin to pace -and trip over the remnants of my beautiful work- discarded pieces lay strewn across the floor.

I become frantic -running around snatching pieces up. They must be tossed out.

To the trash! To the trash!

There must be no evidence that I ever tried to do this on my own and failed -as I run, stumble and fall.

My stumbling blocks are the various pretty pieces that once adorned my foundation. I am now on my knees -where I get a better view. A better response to the stumbling block is dropping to hands and knees -to begin to move along the foundation with the Master craftsman.

From here I can see a once unnoticed beauty of what he had already etched and stained into the solid form at the time of it's pouring out. It is overwhelming in it's simple complexity -craftsmanship which could only be accomplished by planning long before the foundation was laid.

I no longer cling to the trash bag. It is clear that now is not the time for clean up -even as others yell at me to get my "stuff" together, get the mess cleaned up and get back on my feet. No, now is the time for ripping up and taring out. Everything I've added must be removed. Some of it will not be thrown in the trash but moved to hang on the walls as simple decorations, pictures of what has taken place on this journey. They are not ever to be confused with the foundation, as they do not hold weight. They are instead held up by the nails.

I move to the corner not in retreat - not running as some would claim. I simply had to relinquish any claim to the center. From the my spot in the corner I watch my Lord work. He reveals more and more foundation, and more and more wondrous beauty. Now I understand the urge to kiss the ground I walk on. That ground is holy and not of me...

... and as all things I've built seem to crumble, my Lord has never shown a sign of weakening and thus my foundation has never been cracked or worn. This is a constant comfort and provides the stability that is so often allusive.

So today I am sitting and wondering, pondering -1 Samuel 15:22
"...To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams."
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(I alluded many Bible passages today. Please feel free to comment with references and add more that come to heart)
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Stages

2009-08-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

As a Christian people expect you to grieve a certain way. To respond and then move on.

Mourning is an interesting process, at least I have told people that and been told that myself.

But what is a process with out order? If this has order I don't see it.

It isn't chaos either, but it seems to get harder when you know all standard the answers.

Knowing the answers means no new bit. No new nugget of truth to brighten the day so you must cling to the truth already known.

People try to express understanding, but it's hard because we can't really know where someone is at.

This is why we take what comfort we can from a sympathetic high priest.

So how do you go through the stages of grief, when you know the answers and people just want you to go back to normal?

Denial- How do you deny something you know so well to be true, to be reality. It's hard to ignore something like a huge hole in your heart, yet you know that if God didn't fill it that it would have emptied long ago

Guilt- Why should I feel guilt if I said what I needed to say before it was to late, and I'm forgiven anyway.

Anger- What if you refuse to be angry? How would you justify anger at the one who holds life in His hands and gives eternal life to the dead. You could rage against the curse of sin, but the best way to be angry at sin is to give it the silent treatment.

Bargain-How do you bargain with God if you habitually give him everything everyday? You would have to think you have something that He needs or wants, but he already has everything and all you have is cast on Him because you can't carry the weight.

Depression- What if you are constantly reminded of your blessings? How do you spiral into depression when your are surrounded by the hugs and laughter of your little blessings everyday, and when people care so much.

Acceptance- I can't even right about this. I don't understand it. As a Christian I don't have to accept it because God provided a way of escape. That's the point. This is why we really want our friends and family to know Jesus Christ, so that we don't have to accept that they're gone forever. Because their not.

All I need is a little distraction from the empty sounds. He was such a huge voice in my life.

I want to hear him still, but there is much talking, so much noise.

I want a break down. I want loose myself. I just don't see it in me.

How do you restart a life that never got a chance to stop.?

Why do people want to stop the pain that lets me know how much I truly loved?

Where can I go.....? ...God you are there already!

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God Moving

2009-07-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

I was just going to post an update and it got long winded.

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GOD MOVING

I woke up this morning....Think I woke up, but I'm not sure I slept. There I lay thinking I'd never move; that I had lost hope and then I looked up. God was still there holding me: causing me to breath every labored breath.

The world has turned and left me here....I'm still stumbling to get dressed. This new suit feels so awkward and unnatural. Do I really need this thing tied around my neck? It's mine to carry, but it is heavy, so I pass it on. God is still here carrying my baggage.

My eyes are open.... The day seems dark. It's hard to walk around because so many things are not were I left them. Like a thief has rummaged through my house and I just stood watching as he tried to take things of value. All I could grab in the dark was this old book. God is still lighting my path.

There is to much noise in the air around me.... It is to silent to think. I sit in the noisy silents until a friend reminds me to turn my music. It helps to hear praise in the storm. It gives me something to focus. I begin to meditate and consider all His might deeds. I hear His still small voice. God is still loudly working.

My heart is lifted up... This is so painful. There is a new hole in my heart that feels so immense that I can't imagine what will ever stop it's spread. This not a time for my imagination. I am firmly rooted in reality. God is filling every part of me.

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Hurting

2009-07-18T23:05:00.000-07:00

Today was my father's memorial. It was a beautiful celebration of my father's life and legacy. There were many stories, many tears, many hugs and many old friends that I would love to see more often. I was especially moved by my brothers loving words. They made me once again proud of my father and of my big brother. He said what he needed to say as did I, but still the pain does not subside.

I have not stopped hurting, but it is a different kind hurt. One that creeps in when the business and noise of the day fades away and we are left with only our thoughts. The children are tucked in bed and Jen is asleep on the couch. I lay on a foam mat in my parent's living room, and this is so different.

It is different in that tonight when I walked into this house I did not make a bee line for my Dad's office to say hi and discuss life or sit down on the couch near his lay-z boy recliner to watch the game and discuss politics. It is different because I didn't hear the familiar and comforting "goodnight" and "I love you son", that would normally come down the hall as dad would shuffle off to bed.

It is different because to night there is no man of the house, but there are men of the house. You see I no longer enjoy the comfort of coming here and deferring to the man of the house. The man that I loved as father and friend has died and is now with Christ. My brother and I will not fight any longer for position in this house because we are now both the man of our own homes. He and I are not the boys we were growing up trying to make dad proud. We should have no question that he was proud of his boys. He was proud and with good reason. He instilled in us the very essence of what a man should be. I for one am proud that my brother, asleep in the next room, is my brother, and today he was my big brother.

So I have not stopped hurting, but it is a different kind hurt. After years of struggles this little family of ours had become everything we could hope for; no not perfect, but close enough. We had seen God's healing hand heal old wounds and open closed hearts. We had seen love and understanding that we had often thought impossible. And we said the things that needed to be said.

It is different because I am not angry at God for taking dad. I am thankful to God that we got to have dad here to see his family together. Thankful that we had the time to love and forgive. Thankful that lessons were learned and wisdom was passed on. Thankful that this last year we got to laugh and love and hope and dream together. After all how can you truly love with out the risk of loss. And how can you truly suffer loss if you never risked love. All this I know.

..... but I haven't stopped hurting, though it is a different hurt, and I'm not sure that I even comprehend it's full extent just yet. I'm not sure how long it will take or even how hard it will get. I am not God, and I don't question God right now. What I question is how anyone makes it through something like this with out God. After all I know God and talk with Him, yet as of right now I am barely able to breath, yet he keeps me breathing.

I am laying here waiting to hear my father say "goodnight, I love you son". And just before my heart faints in despair it comes. Not from down the hall, but from within my spirit. "Goodnight, I love you son.", my heavenly father says, " I love you, just as I love your dad. He is here with me and one day you will be too".

So today passes and tomorrow I will wait upon the Lord to renew my strength, but I haven't stopped hurting, though it is a different kind of hurt.

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NOT BRAVE

2009-07-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

This one, written Monday morning before heading to the hospital, had been much more raw. Thank you Jen for helping me edit this into a readable form.

Not Brave

I am not brave; I am the farthest from it. I am a child in the night, clinging to covers pulled over my head--for that is were I am, over my head. All but consumed by Now, I have taken on water and The Now finds me jilted.

I am not brave; I am standing confused. Needing water to live, to thrive, but it is too much: too much grief, too much pain. A blinding tide, greater than all of me, but it is too much: too much grace, too much love: an outpouring greater than I’ve known.

I am not brave; I’m being poured out. Caught in the desire, wanting to walk on water yet, hearing the clash of thunder. Now feeling the spray of the waves, and too distracted, too overwhelmed. I begin losing sight and focus.

I am not brave; I’m in the struggle. Weighted at the point of saturation. Much more and I drown, or recoil to the extent that I grow dry, callous, and dead. Is it the desert or the sea? Am I to feel it all, or not at all?

I am not brave; I’m at my end. Thinking for a moment that I was capable and sure. Here is when I falter, now is when I stumble. Let he who thinks he stands be careful lest he falls.

I am not brave; I’m just here at such a time, in the tears and weeping. Startled by the shadow on the wall. Clinging to my comfort, my hand is weak and trembling. I look back into piercing eyes. The hand that grips mine is firm.

I am not brave; I am a child reaching up, not brave or strong or wise. My father’s hand is strong. He is bold and strong and wise. I hold my father’s hand; this is the hand that reached for me; that stops my reoccurring descent.

I am not brave; I have no need to be. I am not the power or force or strength. I am not the architect, creator, or sustainer. There is no need to be brave, for the hand I rest in cannot be shaken. This hand cannot be pried open, forced, loosened or persuaded to release.

I am not brave as it may at times appear. Don’t be mislead or deceived. Though I show bold actions in facing the challenge; stand strong under life’s attack, and move forward shedding fear. My father in the storm is clear. The Lord my God is here.

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www.neuenschwander.blogspot.com
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Kid Talk

2009-07-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

I have been reminded how much my children love Grandpy.

I had to explain to Zoe why she wouldn't be able to play with grandpy anymore.

"Granpy's heart was so sick that he couldn't get fixed here on earth, but Grandpy new Jesus as his Savior so God took Grandy to heaven so he could totally fix him there."

Zoe then claimed she was really sick and needed to go with Grandpy, but we told her she would get better here with us. Then Jen and I explained that her friend Charlie would get better on earth too and she would see him again soon.

For those who don't know:

Zoe is 3 and a half.

Charlie, he is one of the guys in our HINGE young adult ministry and a good friend to us all. He is suffering with a disk problem in his back. We our praying for you Charlie!!!

Grandpy was my best friend and father, and he is greatly missed!

Now

2009-07-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

Now we have passed the point of simply praying for healing.
It is the time to put knee to floor and face to ground and ask that we see a true miracle.

It is now when people will look to see whether we believe what we profess
Or if we like many others simply cling to a hollow straw man that collapses under life's pressure

Now is when we find out f we will succumb to the disparaging remarks of Job's wife.
Will we simply curse God and die.

It is now that little eyes will look to see if daddy truly believes in hope eternal
And whether or not his stories hold more substance for life then the colorful fairytale books

Now we can no longer sing our hymns of thanks with full stomach but detached heart
We have had our guts checked and our hearts wrenched back to true feeling.

It is now we will seek God's face, to feel His strength and know His comfort
And we will learn to let go of the unnecessary things we cling to.

Now before we reach our end when reason and love can be over taken by hopeless anger
Here is when we need to take a moment to pause and prepare for the unbearable.

Is it now that I will curse God because the system is broken
A system I understand that He did not create it so faulted

Now I take full responsibility for my part in this world so ravaged by the curse of sin
And thank the Creator that He did not abandon the rebellious this child

Is it right to curse God that gravity allows me to walk or that the sun causes plants to grow
Though I may bemoan the soreness of muscles and burn of skin.

Now is the time for the real hope to be praised for all that is truly given by a loving Father
In this life and in the life to come is not a promise of flowery words but of tangible power

It is power of life and power over death, it is hope eternal for the temporal plain.
Though there is pain, sorrow and grief there is also hope, faith and love.

Now is the time for us to praise the God who gives and takes away
In this time our souls can find wellness that comes only from the well of living water.

It is still hard to see a broken system taking only what belongs to it, only the flesh, only the shell
Though it threatens, rages and presses against the soul that it can't touch

Now the soul belongs to another and the Spirit gives it life
And my trust is in He who can touch the soul and body

It is His who has healed the spirit and He who can heal the flesh.
He who sees as grander design in all the chaos and pain

Now I understand that though everything happens for a reason
Sometimes it is reason enough to know we live in a broken world of our own making

It is more than enough to know the plan of escape has been laid
And the price of the trip has been past paid in blood.

Now is the time for tears, now is the time for grief
And the time for joy and love and faith and prayer and hope.

It is the temporary loss of fellowship and momentary separation
And the pain of knowing I must stay away from my true home though you may enter in.

Now is when people will look to see whether I truly believe what I profess
And they watch on and wonder how and what they will see

It is not my will that will be done no matter the outcome it is not by my power
So I hope and I pray that it is not my face they will see

Now I have passed the point of simply praying for healing.
It is time for me to put knee to floor and face to ground and ask to see a true miracle.

Is it now that my feeble flesh fixed to this ground will cry
And it is now when Father lifts my soul and mouth to proclaim my God on high

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My Fathers' Will To Live

2009-07-01T18:04:00.000-07:00

How can I stand under the weight of life?

I do not understand the way of it all.

This grip that holds me up against the down.

Hands unseen that hold my life, my breath.

The God that formed me now keeps me formed.

My father who lays now in the bed of affliction.

A father no less in the hands of the Father.

This good Father who gives and takes away.

Will I praise Him only in the giving I enjoy?

To then curse Him when I don't so easily understand?

If my understanding were the limit of God, He is no god.

But I stand not in my self, but by grace.

My Father too has given my father grace.

This Father of grace holds my father in life.

And a gracious Father holds my father beyond death.

He gives and He takes away, blessed be His name!

In this name I pray, please Father give today.

For Your will not mine is not easy to live, once easily said.

A New Type Of Pain

2009-05-24T00:16:00.000-07:00

Click to read

America is in need of a time machine...

2009-02-05T09:28:00.000-08:00

Should I keep holding my breath or go ahead and inhale whatever it is that the masses are smoking these days. This is the change we've been waiting for? I will give Washington the benefit of the doubt a little longer, but I do have to start thinking for my self again by Sunday. I'm preaching this week.

This pic has been floating around the magic email universe and makes me laugh and cry.

Now first off I don't own a gun. My hands and wit are a strong defense. Second I don't want to take guns from anyone with a clean record. Third I love cheese.

So here we go.

No one has offered to give me any change, and I did ask for some.... although I have had some change forced into my pocket while I was asleep. It wasn't the change I was asking for and it looks an awful lot like the change we got rid of in the early 80's.

Interesting fact #1: Did you know that my daughter Josie has a middle name and that middle name is Reagan?

She was named after someone I miss very deeply.

You know I've been thinking. Maybe if I had a gun I wouldn't be forced into things so much. Maybe if I had the arms of a bear politicians would respect me more.

Interesting fact (I'm looking into) #2-4
Thomas Jefferson

Favored the death penalty for treason and murder.

Believed there should be a revolution every 50 years.

Died 50 years to the day after he signed the Declaration of Independence.

He may have died do to the shock of no revolution, but I can't prove it. Then again who has to prove anything these days. Not trial lawyers. FACE!!! (Ya I'm trying to bring it back)

If only the founding fathers had thought to add something to the constitution to stop this from happening. If only there was a system of checks and balances in government. If only judges where given the duty to uphold the law instead of just legistlating from the bench. Oh Thomas Jefferson you fool! Why didn't you guys go back and add some type of bill to the constitution that would ensure that the people would be protected and free from........

Well my editor is telling me to stop beating the dead horse or something (He mumbles so I can't always tell what he's saying)

Have you ever wondered what you'd do if you had a time machine?

Well if I had a time machine I'd move back to America.

....better work on my sermon now, but what will I talk about that won't get me thrown in jail?

Maybe I'll quote the great prophets Lennon & McCartney.

You say you want a revolution- Well you know We all want to change the world-
You tell me that it's evolution- Well you know We all want to change the world-
But when you talk about destruction- Don't you know you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be alright Alright Alright

You say you got a real solution- Well you know We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution- Well you know We're doing what we can
But when you want money for people with minds that hate All I can tell you is brother you have to wait- Don't you know it's gonna be alright Alright Alright
You say you'll change the constitution- Well you know We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution- Well you know You better free your mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow- Don't you know know it's gonna be alright Alright Alright

Guys is it everything you dreamed it would be?

Please stop saying Merry Christmas

2008-12-22T23:46:00.000-08:00

I am deeply saddened. Non of my friends could tell me what they would do Christmas morning that would actually Celebrate the birth of Christ. This is the state of the American church? This is Christmas? I am sadden.

Merry Celebration of people expecting others to give them gifts for no apparent reason other then because it's customary to do so.

Merry Celebration of saying the name of God's son devoid of any remembrance of why it matters that he came to earth.

Merry Celebration of people feeling the massive pressure to live up to unreasonable demands of friends and family.

Merry Celebration of Santa and other fictional characters who have nothing to do with Christ.

Merry Celebration of the Winter Break.

Merry Celebration of the biggest shopping days of the year.

Merry Celebration of people who don't want us to mention Christ, well then don't take a holiday. On a side not if you don't like Abraham Lincoln then don't celebrate his birthday either because that makes just as much sense.

Merry Celebration of getting way over committed at church so we dread this time of year.

Merry Celebration of elaborate programs which totally take the place and also give us an excuse to just talk face to face with people about Christ. I know I'm crazy.

Merry Celebration of standing in line to return things because people I expected to get me gifts, got me the wrong thing. What were they thinking.

Merry Celebration of special holiday music releases by recording artist who could never be accused of knowing Christ the rest of the year.

Merry Celebration of I think I made a point here and I think I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Please stop saying Merry Christmas, and no I don't expect people at stores to say merry Christmas to me instead of Happy Holidays.....in fact I prefer that they don't unless they really want to acknowledge Christ, but really does he have anything to do with this celebration?

Jesus should sue for Copy Right infringement?

So I'm sad about it. How do you feel?

Are they like me?

2008-11-11T18:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes people ask me if my kids are like me. This picture should answer that question.

Change Came and It Stayed the Same

2008-11-05T08:10:00.000-08:00

This morning I awoke to a different world. Well, that's what I've heard. The thing is that no matter how you voted you have to admit that it's kind of cool. A "wall" was shattered and that thing that was hanging over the head of America is gone. Right? That's cool. I only wish Tupac was alive to see it. In his now classic song "Changes" he makes this statement:
I see no changes all I see is racist faces
misplaced hate makes disgrace to races

We under I wonder what it takes to make this
one better place, let's erase the wasted

Take the evil out the people they'll be acting right
'cause both black and white is smokin' crack tonight
and only time we chill is when we kill each other
it takes skill to be real, time to heal each other

And although it seems heaven sent
We ain't ready, to see a black President, uhh

In 1995, I'm sure that's how it felt, but things have changed.
We have lived long enough to see a black President, and now I pray we can move past the need to bring race into it at all.

Truthfully, I got up this morning like normal. Showered, shaved, got dressed, kissed my lovely wife and kids and headed out the door. Got on the scooter and grabbed some coffee before heading off to work. The truly cool thing was the sense of hope I felt through it all. Yes, I said it! I feel the hope, and I'm not ashamed to say it.

The weird thing about it is that I had the same hope yesterday, and the day before that, and the one before that. In fact I've had this hope for about 4,820 days, give or take a few with leap years and all. Many have commented that they thought I had it longer, but I'm not just talking about knowing about it but really having it. You know, "getting it".

The hope I speak of is that of Jesus Christ, and it's amazing how it has stayed constant no matter what direction the political wind blows. In fact I am amazed at how many "followers of Christ" that I speak with seem to forget that our true security is not found in the governing bodies of this world. So let me cut to it.

1. I expect the world to be the world not heaven.
2. We don't live in a Theocracy.
3. My job here is to share Christ not my political frustration.
4. Economic security is not eternal security.
5. Jesus said give unto Caesar what is Caesar, and no one were in that statement did Jesus say anything about you having to be in agreement with Caesar's economic or social policies.
6. I could go on, but......

This morning I prayed for our country, our future President and the body of Christ and as I thought about my Hope, I thought on these two verse:

Psalm 146:5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God,
Titus 2:13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,

I suggest that everyone climb down off the ledge and meditate on God's word today. It helps, really it does. All right now, I'll climb down off my soap box.

I have time for some questions.......
yes you in the back.

Will I run for President in 2012? Well do you think this country is ready for a platform build on Eternal Hope, Eternal Change and Eternal Security? Maybe if we all start campaigning for that now, it won't matter who the president is in 2012.
Talk it up people, I think it will work.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2008-10-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

Goodness gracious great balls of fire!!!!

What happened to September

2008-10-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

Did I just miss a whole month....... September is over and I did not get the memo.

October is not a month I will miss. This is the birthday month. Both Zoe and Josie will celebrate b-days and we have big plans. Princess party for Zoe and the first cake for Josie. This will be fun or messy or both. I'm guessing both.

Anyway if you want to send gifts.....send money. It looks like college is going to be getting more expensive soon. Well everything looks to be getting more expensive soon. Ok everything is expensive now and playing the lottery is a most a solid investment plan at this point. Didn't the Roman empire fall this way?

I love October!

Coffee Angel

2008-08-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

What? Do My Eyes Deceive Me!

I really think that I'm seeing things. My head cold has been dragging on and on for over a week with some interesting side effects. Josie appears to be an angel. Now I know that she isn't, but just look at this kid.

I have only come up with two reasonable explanations for this. First, it could be a side effect of my new cold medication (pictured below).
If this proves to not be the reason then I have nothing to fall back to other then the old "laughter is the best medicine". That must be the answer because this kid makes me laugh so much. She dances and she growls. She bites and hums. She smiles and my heart melts. Deep down I fear that she is secretly planning to take over the world, but that can't stop this daddy's love.

2008-08-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

Well it finally happened, I had to make a new logo. After 8 years of DV8 we've got a new name. Welcome to the ROUNDhouse! The student ministries of the LIFEhouse Church of Rocklin, CA. just got kicked in the teeth. If you take a look at the logo you can see the tag-line, "Like a kick for your soul". So what do you think? Yes that is my boot comin at ya!!!

So what about DV8? Don't worry DV8 just became a little "d" and has moved over to the insanely active and somewhat moody Jr. High Department. It is in good hands!

So if you haven't found us yet, look us up on FACEBOOK. We want friends.

The Question

2008-08-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

So is there any connection between my leaving Wisconsin and Brett Favre leaving the Packers? I promised Brett that I wouldn't talk about it.

2008-07-22T15:45:00.001-07:00

Part 4- the office

So I'm starting to settle in to my new work space. Trying to fit into my new space has been tough. I'm just so confined in this 20 by 20 foot space. Take a look at these pictures and you'll see what I mean. Click on them to get a better view.

So I hope you can tell that I've been joking. This place is awesome! I just don't know where to put the swimming pool, although I have plenty of space to park my scooter.

What you didn't hear about the scooter? Well I'll talk about it next time.

2008-07-13T22:36:00.000-07:00

part ३- fatiuge

So I've been telling people that I drove the whole way from Wisconsin and this is mostly true. I was in the drivers seat the whole time anyway. We did have one small lapse in judgment on my part. It was brought on by lack of sleep and will never happen again (at least not for 15 years or so).

Thank God no one was hurt when I passed out doing 70 on the highway. My little ones jumped into action to save the day. Jen screamed, "Jesus take the wheel" and Josie thought she said Josie, so she did take the wheel.

Zoe opted to go to prayer and ask for a hedge of protection. Jen just continued singing along to the local country music station. She loves Carry Underwood.

We are still trying to figure out how Josie got out of her car seat, but one thing for sure we will not be skipping any rest stops in the future.

2008-07-08T07:51:00.008-07:00

PART 2
The Family Reunion Pic

This was right before the fight broke out.
From back left to right: Brian, Jenn, Darla (Mom), Phil (Dad), Zoe, Josie.
My brother Scott and his wife Carla are not in this picture. They to busy to be there. What was sooooooooooooooo important that they missed this monumental family gathering? The birth of their son.
Introducing Everett Scott Neuenschwander!! My first nephew. He's a big boy and a singer too!

So now you understand why Scott didn't back me up in that fight. He had more important things to take care of. Congratulations! I did suggest that he add Phil to his son's name. Everett Scott Phil Neuenschwander or E.S.P.N. just sounds very manly.

2008-07-07T12:46:00.002-07:00

Settling In To Rocklin
part 1- Making the Move

Well it's been awhile since you and I last talked so let me fill you in on everything. June 15th I spoke my last sermon at Hillcrest Bible Church in Oregon, WI., following the service at 12:32pm my little family began our trek west. Driving as fast and safe as possible in our Dodge Dakota quad-cab and pulling a small u-haul trailer we drove out of Wisconsin, through Minnesota and most of the way across South Dakota (oddly enough my truck did not seam to know its way through its home state) so then we had to take a brief eight hour stop. The next day with the girls singing joyfully (or crying) in the back seat we head into Montana. Twelve very quite hours later we reached the little town of Sheridan MT. This little town was about to get a rude awakening as the Grotzke family reunion was about to begin. As the world knows our family reunions have a habit of upstaging the Sturgis Bike rally, so after the police had to break up a fight between my cousins (a disagreement on the nature of the emergent church) we made a timely exit on Thursday afternoon. We made it all the way to Winnamucca Nevada. Jen wanted to keep going, but being the loving father that I am, I insisted we give the little ones a rest. Side note: Winnamucca is neither a winner or mucky despite it's name. So we rolled on to Rocklin California, which does rock. Friday June 20th I joined on Lifehouse Church's Vision Night and I was not disappointed.
I was only in Rocklin for a day before I had to leave........

2008-06-01T20:09:00.002-07:00

Just an update on my battle with cellulite. I am currently under 185. For those of you who wonder were this puts me on the child obesity scale , I am about at my 7th grade weight. My goal is to get down to my birth weight. Jen tells me this is impossible, but I've repeatedly told her that my mom remembers me being a huge baby.

2008-06-01T20:04:00.001-07:00

So we are leaving Wisconsin on June 15th. If you want to check out your new church home here's the website. Remember surf responsibly!
The LIFEhouse Church

2008-05-31T20:48:00.001-07:00

We're moving again! God said California is the place you ought to be so we're loading up the truck and movin' to North Cali!

2008-04-11T06:50:00.005-07:00

Working With Frustration

It is very interesting to me to see people slowly slip into that state of workable frustration. What I mean by this is that point where you can still function at work (getting the job done), but are so close to the edge that you may snap at any moment. Long gone is that state of happy bliss (and I don't mean Montana. Montana will never be gone. In fact I believe that do to "global warming" (Save those penguins! You heartless jerk.), we will soon have more usable land in Montana. Once all those useless glaciers are gone (Boo ya!), but I digress).
Happy bliss at work is important. It leads to contentment and longevity. Lack of happiness leads to stress, job turnover and is one of the leading causes of shootings in the work place. The funny thing is that it doesn't have to be your on happiness to cause these problems. Working in an environment filled with unhappy, stressed out, frustrated people (or one really out spoken person) can cause your own frustration level to rise to the breaking point.
Why do I bring this up? Well, I'm starting to see things. Things like people making important decisions based only on what will get it off there plate. Or making the choice to do nothing until someone else is brought in to take care of the need. Each of these frustrate me.

Now I'm not as frustrated as I was on Black Thursday (The Wall Street Crash of 1929, also known as the Black Thursday, was the most devastating stock market crash in the history of the United States, taking into consideration the full scope and longevity of its fallout. Thank you Wikipedia!) That was bad. I was, at the time, still rolling in green backs do to my recent investment in sliding windows for high rise office buildings.
Needless to say, I lost my shirt. The real problem is that when things are down it is the aggressive, fearless investors that can make money, as the old saying goes, "Real players make money when the market is down". This ranks just behind, "I'll be back", and "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" as best quote ever. So in applying this principle I held on to my Apple stock and that has paid off. Vista what?!?
I have also tried to apply this to my work. Never wanting to just ride out the low times, but to remain aggressive and push for progress. Sadly I see that this has cast me as the odd man out in a world that just wants TPS reports turned in on time. So back to frustration. I have found that in order to deal with frustration you need to have a mental escape every once in a while. Something that takes your mind to that happy place and refreshes your mental web page.
This is not a waist of time, but a vital part of office wellness. Let me suggest a few things.
10. Coffee runs
9. Slap fighting in the break room
8. Nerf guns
7. Changing the presets on your friends radio
6. Watching "The Office" on thursday night
5. Line dancing
4. Plant a tree
3. Wander around mumbling to yourself
2. Wii or Xbox party with a group of 5th graders
1. Write a blog

Well I don't know if this has help you at all, but I feel much less frustrated.

I'll be back!

2008-02-23T14:06:00.002-08:00

GOAL!!!!!
After years of procrastination and defeat I have finally reached my goal. This last week I weighted in at under 200 pounds for the first time since 1995. Oh where has the time gone?

Why did I do it? What was different this time? What did I do?

Well I did it because I realized that I am not the strapping young man I once was, and I want to be around to play with my kids for a long time. Also my bad knee was killing me this past summer. So I had to make it happen.

The difference was that I was in the right place mentally to commit and see it through. I was sick of being where I was.

How did I do it? Well it was very complex and tricky. I ate less calories then I burned off in a day. I know crazy right? Self-control is so old school.

Anyway in honor of reaching my goal I commissioned a painting to commemorate my new lease on life. Let me know what you think. Is it to much, or just right?

Oh, don't think for one minute that I am off my healthy eating thing. I have set a new goal and when I reach that one you may not even recognize me. Maybe you don't already.

2008-02-20T09:04:00.004-08:00

Topic: Military casualties

This was emailed to me. I am trying to find the source.
If you can help me out please comment.
______________________________________________________________________________
BET YOU DON'T KNOW THIS

Military losses for 20 years

These are some rather eye-opening facts: Since the start of the war on terror
in Iraq and Afghanistan , the sacrifice has been enormous. In the time period
from the invasion of Iraq in March 2003 through now, we have lost over 3000
military personnel to enemy action and accidents. As tragic as the loss of any
member of the US Armed Forces is, consider the following statistics: The annual
fatalities of military members while actively serving in the armed forces from 1980
through 2006:

1980 .......... 2,392

1981 ......... 2,380

1984 .......... 1,999

1988 .......... 1,819

1989 .......... 1,636

1990 ......... 1,508

1991 .......... 1,787

1992 .......... 1,293----------------------------------------------------

1993 .......... 1,213

1994 .......... 1,075

1995 ...........2,465

1996 ......... 2,318 Clinton years @13,417 deaths

1997 ......... 817

1998 ......... 2,252

1999 .......... 1,984 -------------------------------------------------

2000 .......... 1,983

2001 ......... 890

2002 .......... 1,007 7 BUSH years @ 9,016 deaths

2003 .......... 1,410

2004 .......... 1,887

2005 ......... 919

2006......... 920 ------------------------ ------------------------------------

If you are confused when you look at these figures...so was I.

Do these figures mean that the loss from the two latest conflicts in the Middle East
are LESS than the loss of military personnel during Mr. Clinton's presidency; when
America wasn't even involved in a war? And, I was even more confused; when I
read that in 1980, during the reign of President (Nobel Peace Prize) Jimmy Carter,
there were 2,392 US military fatalities! These figures indicate that many of our Media & Politicians will pick and choose. They present only those "facts" which support their agenda-driven reporting. Why do so many of them march in lock-step to twist the truth.
Where do so many of them get their marching-orders for their agenda?

Our Mainstream Print and TV media, and many Politicians like to slant; that these brave
men and women, who are losing their lives in Iraq , are mostly minorities!

Wrong AGAIN--- just one more media lie! The latest census, of Americans, shows the
following distribution of American citizens, by Race:

European descent (White) ....... 69.12%

Hispanic ................................ 12.5%

Black.................................... 12.3%

Asian ...................................... 3.7%

Native American ..................... . 1.0%

Other ..................................... 2.6%

Now... here are the fatalities by Race; over the past three years in Iraqi Freedom:

European descent (white) ..... 74.31%

Hispanic ............................. 10.74%

Black ................................... 9.67%

Asian ................................. . 1.81%

Native American .................... 1.09%

Other .................................... . 33%

You do the Math! These figures don't lie... but, Media-liars figure...and they sway
public opinion! (These statistics are published by Congressional Research Service, and they may be confirmed
by anyone at: http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf )

Now ask yourself these two questions:

"Why does the mainstream Print and TV Media never print statistics like these?" and
"Why do the mainstream media hate the web as much as they do?
_____________________________________________________________________________

So what do you think? Do some research and let me know.

2007-12-30T08:10:00.000-08:00

Sick of it All

This has been a long week. As I write this I am laying on the couch in my basement. I am the latest victim of the flu. My wife and I suffered through lots of messy diapers as both of our little ones felt the flu explosion. Jen felt it Sunday, but I stayed strong. Invincible and head strong, I would not give in, but I did.
This week was just to much for one person to take. You see we also had Christmas Eve service, family over for Christmas, a wedding rehearsal and a wedding. These in themselves are often enough to make us sick, but non of these are the reason I was brought to my knees this week.
This week a young lady from my church passed away. She had struggled with a brain tumor for months. Christmas Eve she took a turn for the worse. We prayed and prayed and Christmas day she went to be with the Lord. I just wonder what it was like to celebrate Christmas face to face with Christ. She must have been overjoyed because she had never made it a secret that she loved Jesus and now she is with him always.
The hardest thing to remember this week was that we do not morn for her loss. We morn for our loss. We are the ones who have lost fellowship with her. She has perfect fellowship with God.
So why am I sick of it all? I am sick of this world, of sin and suffering, sick of death. I'm sick of being tired and strained, but this is good.
It's good that I'm sick of it or I may have to wonder if I've grown complacent. You see we often forget that this world is not as is should be. You may be thinking, "no I don't", but really we like to pretend that life is fine. We forget that this world is not as God intended it to be. We and this world both suffer from the same problem, sin. Sin that takes us out of fellowship with the perfectness of God. That relationship with our Creator that is meant to fulfill us.
We tend to forget that we need God. More then anything or anyone we need Him to complete us.
This young lady understood this. She also knew with all her heart that relationship with God can only be gained through Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, the baby that didn't stay in a manger, who bled and died for our sins. This is not a fantasy it is reality. She understood this and lived her life expecting to see Jesus and right now she does. This is the thing we forget, the reason I get sick of it all, because I forget that this isn't all there is. There is so much more and it is found in Jesus Christ. Consider this verse.

Romans 6:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2007-12-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

Email, Email, Email and More Email!

Normally I get about 100 emails each day that have nothing to do with work. About 20% of those are from friends or family or friends of friends or friends of family, and they are not personal at all. You know those emails that have a story of theme with a deep profound meaning? If you don't then you have no friends that care about you. Anyway I normally read through them (if I haven't received them before) and delete most of them, but on occasion I find one that is worth the forward or save. This one for some reason (I was laying sick in bed when I read it) made me smile. So merry CHRISTmas AND GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!

I have not edited my answers:

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!!
Just copy this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you... 'Tis the Season to be NICE!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? gift bag because I'm lazy
2. Real tree or artificial? real

3. When do you put up the tree? asap after Thanksgiving
4. When do you take the tree down? after the Super bowl
5. Do you like eggnog? Yes but it makes me sick

6. What about Fruitcake? love it!!!!! We should have it year round
7. Favorite gift received as a child? big guy power construction set

8. Do you have a nativity scene? Zoe has a little play one
9. Hardest person to buy for? Jesus

10. Easiest person to buy for? my wife
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? it's the thought that counts!

12. Mail or email Christmas cards? if i remember

13. Favorite Christmas Movie? Christmas Story

14. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I've already done most of it
15. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? as far as I'm aware, yes,yes,yes
16. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? home made cookies ...with coffee

17. Clear lights or colored on the tree? white

18. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night

19. Travel for Christmas or stay at home? home
20. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? dancer, prancer, donner, blitzen, commet, cupid

21. Angel on the tree top or a star? star
22. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? eve/morning, two weeks before

23. What is the one present you want most this year? cash
24. Most annoying thing about this time of year? the lack of true CHRISTMAS
25. What I love most about Christmas? Christ

2007-10-25T13:11:00.000-07:00

Josie and the 14 Hours Waiting. She is here and all she does is sleep.

I am just fine with that. Sleeping Beauty

2007-10-24T13:50:00.000-07:00

Greetings From the Hospital

I am sitting in a nice comfortable recliner, so don't worry about me. Jen is doing all the work and feeling all the pain. We are here in anticipation of our second daughter.

All this hospital talk has made me really think about the future. You see a few months ago I started on a........ lets call it a quest. This quest, not to be confused with the amazingly awesome Sunday children's ministry at HBC (www.hillcrestbiblechurch.org), is about my personal goals.

A different type of quest. A quest for healthy living. I took a look in the mirror one day and realized that I had officially lost my chiseled youthful look.

What? How can this be? Well let me tell you it didn't happen over night. It kind of crept up on me while I was generally taking my health for granted.

As you can see from this picture its not that I need to look better because in my case big is beautiful. I just needed to feel better and stave off any possible health risks after all I will soon be the father of two little girls, and will need all the energy I can get.

So back to the quest. I started on a quest to get back to that "healthy" look. Is has been an up hill battle but as of today I am 25 pounds leaner for the year (pictured below).
As you can see I have engaged in a more active lifestyle and also lowered my calorie intake. I am hoping to lose another 25 pounds by my birthday in a few months. Impossible you say? Well I don't need your negativity!!!!!! So get out you negative ninny.

I will be healthy and will live to play exciting games with my daughters and scare their boyfriends! This quest will not be stopped by the fast food lobbyists or the lure of Monopoly game pieces. That's right Ronald I know your tricks! You and the King can just back off, scram, skedaddle or meander away. Yes go, but leave the chihuahua. He reminds me of times that make me not want to eat. Awe the memories.

2007-09-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

Well I have been gone for a long time. I'm planning to get back into blogging now that the summer has passed. Here's something I am pretty excited about. On e of my favorite bands has a new album coming out tomorrow .Here is the cover art to the new Thousand foot krutch album.
The album is due in stores on Sept 18, 2007
myspace.com/thousandfootkrutch

2007-07-03T08:02:00.003-07:00

Well this last month was very busy.

The church is full of life and growing in Oregon, Wisconsin.
June saw us involved in Oregon's Summerfest where Hillcrest Bible Church runs the Children's Activity Tent Thursday through Saturday. The some week we also had two floats in the parade. The first was celebrating our Vacation Bible School, which is happening next week. The theme this year is "Special Agents" which works well with it being the 007 year. The second parade entry celebrated our "MOPS" or mothers of preschoolers ministry, which Jenn takes advantage of with little Zoe. I am still trying to get "POPS" started, but papas of preschoolers just doesn't draw the same crowd.

On June 24th we also said goodbye to our lead and founding Pastor. Scott Ziegler served faithfully in the area for almost 20 years and we are sad to see him go, but we are excited to see what God will do at his new church in the Chicago area. "Da Bears!" Sadly he has no window in his new office so the staff gave him a special gift to bring some sunshine into the room.

So change has been in the air and we moved right along with it. Literally we moved in the middle of it. A short move in a short time from one side of our duplex to the large side. The added space is already being enjoyed, and the room will help us adjust to the new baby due inn October.

Now that Zoey is going to be a big sister we have asked her to step up and help around thehouse. We did have to answer some questions for her, but I gave her a book to help her understand. So she jumped in with a great attitude and help us move. Here she is hooking up the gas line on the dryer.

She also takes care of her pet sock monkey, moves her chair around, opens windows and ups the cuteness around the house! Don't worry though all the hard work has not changed Zoe. She still thinks she is a princess and when she wants daddy to hold her, she gets her way

2007-06-08T08:08:00.006-07:00

Public Service Announcement

It's summer, summer, summer time and you may have your lazy days all planned out, but I have a few things you should consider while you're maxin' and relaxin' outside in the pool. If I could give you one piece of advice it would be wear sunscreen. This is very important especially for all my fair skinned friends. The second bit of advice is to always remember that................

For them summer is just nuts, nuts, nuts and they don't care who gets in the way. Just look at the crazed look of sheer determination on that smug little mug. That's not healthy! That's not even remotely normal. It's like they're just cute and happy and then they snap. Pray that you don't find yourself caught between a squirrel and a nut.

I can tell you're not taking this serious so let me explain it this way. Have you ever seen that one guy? You know the one in the little brown suit, with the over grown bowl hair cut.

No? Nothing? Doesn't ring a bell? The page boy! The one the dances and sings, "Berries and cream, berries and cream. I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!" This guy.....

He's the kind of guy you'd never let date your daughter because even though he has a steady job and is really polite, you just never know if he's just going to nap at any second. Yes, we all know someone like that. We may even find it funny. See that's the thing. Lots of stuff is funny when you see it coming or at a distance, or when it's happening to someone else. That's life!

Just like squirrels. They are cute when you see them coming and when you're at a distance, but when one comes flying out of a tree going for your nut bowl that is just wicked scary!!! I don't even want to get into the fact that squirrels have been waging gorilla warfare on cars for almost a hundred years. I mean to be fair they think that the cars are predators that are consuming the people that feed squirrels nuts at parks. It is totally understandable that they would try to save us if only to continue the nut feeding cycle. Possums on the other hand are just ornery.

So take a look at this face and ask yourself one question.
ARE YOU PREPARED?!!?!?!

No, you're not! That's what I thought. I would expect nothing less from a generation the grew up believing that Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers were really here to saves lives. Well don't believe the lie! Those little guys have more in common with this rabbit then they do with Mother Teresa, and that rabbit's dynamite.

So be prepared because you have been forewarned. Also keep an eye on that garden gnome. He always made me a little nervous.

2007-05-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

Rage takes place every 1st and 3rd Friday.

Mini-golf Rage Style

May 18, 2007

This year our Middle and High School small groups were faced with a challenge.

Create the best mini-golf hole!

More pics and info about DV8 Student Ministries at
www.oregonstudent.org

2007-05-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

We're Making A Movie!!

So if you are anywhere near Oregon, Wisconsin on this date and can take direction and fit the criteria drop on by Hillcrest Bible Church . Just look for this guy!

Call me PB!!!

2007-04-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

"Is this little kid too cute?"

That is the question, and what are this kid's parents feeding her to maintain the cuteness. If only we could bottle it and sell it to rich women looking to recapture their glory days. We'd be rich, rich I tell you. I have got to talk this child's father! Wait I am this girl's father and I am already rich.

Rich in Christ and rich in cuteness.

I hope you all had a happy Easter, and I hope you weren't to distracted by the cuteness of kid's on egg hunts, bunnies, little chicks, or even chocolate to see the true riches of the day.

2007-04-03T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'm Soaring
"How High School Musical Changed My Life!"

Every once in awhile something comes along that touches the hearts and minds of all people everywhere. It brings the stars into alignment, calms the crying babes, and makes fortune cookies come true. A cultural event that brings such peace and clarity that even Carrot Top seems to stand in stunned silence, struck by the undeniable FACT that greatness is unfolding before our very eyes.

At first I was not a true believer. I simply thought that "High School Musical" was just another prefabricated, sugarcoated tween-pop-drama the likes of which have been churned out on a regular basis by the House that Walt built, but I was wrong! Oh, so wrong! HSM is a work of heart on par with West Side Story or Phantom. The Phantom Menace not Phantom of the Opera. I mean it's good, real good, but let's not loose touch with reality. Please!

Before the greatness that is "High School Musical" I was simply just another schmuck trudging through life with a song in my heart, but that song was hidden deep. I, like so many others among the down trodden, heard the small cry from deep with in that yearned to shout out like some medieval serf, "HELP, HELP I'M BEING OPPRESSED!"
Then, High School Musical, as if in response to this inner cry, unleashed from within me a flood of memorizes that at first threatened to paralyze me under the onslaught of what we'll call "Youthful Indiscretions", but most would just call the stupid mistakes teens make. After being pierced to the heart of my very being I came to this realization. I needed to get in touch with the long lost souls of my youth. Unfortunately most of those friends were not in my calling circle, but it’s the thought that counts. Sadly many of my closest friends and I have parted ways over the years. Some by distance, some by change of life style, and others by prison, the witness protection program, restraining orders and such. Sadly many of my former friends could not get over the little "Mac or PC" debate and we just can't talk civilly, and though I may not have those friends I still have my memories. Well I do have some of them, friends and memories except for most of my sophomore year and we're glad that is hazing aren't we. Oh yes we are!

Anyway where was I? It was this fresh zest for life that I contribute to High School Musical. How could I have lived so many years under the false memorize of High School being a horrible prison of peer pressure and angst. It was the contact with old friends that sent me into the singing, dancing fool that I now dwell in. You may ask "Why did it take High School Musical to release the passion from within?” and that is a good question and one that I have pondered long and hard. The answer: Cheese!

It was the cheesy out of my stupor. You see after high school most of us loose the cheese. We get older, more settled down, or stale if you will. The hardest part is that the cheese, when it does spring to the surface, is often harshlygoodness that so slapped me mocked by our cruel task master a.k.a. social conformity. You see the true rebel is not the tattooed, pierced outsider. They are the misunderstood hero of movies or the crooner of sultry song. The true rebel is the odd ball that dares to just be happy, joyful and content is their difference. The person who says, "I don't need to brood just because people don't understand me. I understand me and I like me, different and all." This is the person that I lost and the person that HSM brought back to me. So let's cut with the cheese and get back to the story.

Their I was swimming with the ghosts of High School Christmases past, when I was lifted in the swelling spirit of 90's nostalgia and forced to pull out my "old school" oh what were they called? Oh, yes that's it! "Cd's" So after minutes of painstaking efforts on my part they where imported into my itunes library. I finely I could express my "heart song" through the perfect mix. A mix I have so rightly dubbed "The New Cali-Wis Mix". Why "the New Cali-Wis Mix"? Well I grew up in California and now live in Wisconsin, and as a side note the cows seem pretty happy here too. Any more explanation then that about my transplant it will need to be saved for another day.

Back to the cheese and mix. This is the mix I turn on when the memory of my agonizing loss on American Idol sweeps in threatening to derail my day. The mix I turn to when the radio just doesn't play my stuff. The mix I drink coffee to. The mix that drowns out Fred on the phone. It is the sound track of my life and that means that you may not like it because it’s my sound track not yours and maybe you like cheese or maybe your lactose intolerant. After all one man's delectable snack is another man's gas. There was a point in there somewhere so whatever you feel about cheese you've got to find the song that fills you. I just happened to rediscover that song through High School Musical. So go ahead sing if you feel like it. You can dance if you want to you can leave the world behind. This is me happy so get used to it!

2007-03-14T08:06:00.002-07:00

Is anyone else as excited as I am about this. All I have to say is, "Its about time!" After all these years of looking for Bigfoot, Nessie, Atlantis and never giving that King Tut guy a rest the Discovery Channel finally got around to some important stuff. You know what I mean by important right? Stuff that changed the course of history. Lets be honest as cool as it would be to catch a Yeti, both you and I know that those things are more stealthy then a Turkey on Thanksgiving. So let's get down to the nitty gritty.

This stuff is enthralling, and if you have the free time why not watch another show aimed at slapping done those pesky Born-Again nut jobs. I mean for heaven's sake you would think that after 2000 years someone would find a way to bring some solid evidence against this guy. So what if you are going up against a highly maintained and historically verified document like the Bible, just through something out there that sounds half way believable to a person looking to shrug off the idea of Authority and the people will jump on it. Now as enthralling as this docudrama was it was wasn't perfect, it did lack a few things. I would like to spend the next few seconds of your life pointing these few small things out.
Man I love that Chuck Norris! So here's the point. I am not opposed to the discussion and exchange of ideas, but please bring more then this to the table. Do we have to go through this every year? Anyway I have to get back to "In search of the Yeti", at least these guys are really trying to find out the truth about something instead of just.........just........well whatever they were doing.

2007-03-04T15:01:00.001-08:00

The Truth About Sundance

No! Now leave me alone! I have to catch a plane back to Hollywood. I mean I have to get home for dinner.

And so it happens time and time again with out fail. Another misguided person believing that they have run into a star and wanting an autograph. If only I could be honest with them, but I can't. I must protect my family from a life under the microscope of the media machine and the gilm-glam of Hollywood. I just don't want my daughter to grow up spoiled.

So let me lay this out for you. Here is Sundance and here is me. No resemblance at all.

So let's brake this down nice and easy:

1. It is quite obvious that I a have a mustache and Head does not!

2. I wear undershirts and Sundance
does not.

3. I do not have a prison inmates number on my chest and have never been the prison except in Monopoly.

4. I am not standing in front of the American Idol banner.

5. I am an alto!!!

6. I despite whatever pictures my brother may show you, I have never been to New Orleans.

7. I can dance.

8. Pan's Labyrinth should have won best foreign film!

9. I could go on, but why beat a dead horse unless he really hurt you while alive.

So as you can see I have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Sundance is the next American Idol and one great guy. If he was me, which he is not, I'm sure that he would want you to know that he loves this blog and appreciates your votes. Yes, i do! I mean yes he does.

Seacrest Out!!!!

Hey what happened to the short guy from season one........?

2007-02-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

Here I was living my peaceful little life of oblivious joy when, "Wham, Pow, Bang!" I stumble across this headline.

Global Warming "Very Likely" Caused by Humans, World Climate Experts Say

(John Roach for National Geographic News February 2, 2007) Check out the link!

__________________________________________________________________
I must say that I am shocked and appalled by this resent turn of events. And to think it happened right under my nose. Silent, deadly, deathly even.
(Long dramatic pause for effect)

You would think we would have learned our lesson after we carelessly caused the last ice age to end abruptly. Humans with our stick fires and cave dwelling ways, parading around like we're the top of the food chain. Pew, whatever! When will we get down of our high horse, or should I say steel horse. (wink, wink) We better wake up and stop using these natural resources. In fact we should turn them into natural un-sources.

If we don't do it soon we won't have any un-sources left to not use.

So what's the best way to turn natural resources into natural un-sources? Well I'm glad you asked! Look at you already being more proactive in this life and death struggle. The best way to turn natural resources into natural un-sources is to use them up as fast as we can. Then we wouldn't have them to use and we would be forced to find alternative forms of fuel. Planet friendly fuel. If only Toyota, Ford, GM and the rest of them (sneer) would stop shoving these green cars down our throats. Don't they understand what we are trying to do here. Well of course they do, but they just keep pushing their, "Use less gas" radical beliefs on us. Them and big oil always trying to be more efficient. Wake up people we've got to burn this stuff up!

Wait.....does that sound right?!?!?!?!? I maybe confused, but since when did having a clear understanding of the truth become criteria for expressing your opinion? Never, that's when. Just look at Hollywood the truth doesn't stop them and it won't stop me.

Fight the Power! (yelled with clenched fist thrust high)

You may ask,"But is it enough? Can we burn these natural resources faster?" You maybe right. We just can't make natural un-sources quick enough. I don't want my daughter waking up in a world still burning natural resources. I could never look in those little eyes knowing that I didn't do my part to make natural un-sources a reality. Why oh why must I be cursed with coherant thought? Why can't I just flow with the masses? Al Gore you sweet, sweet lovable man! How could you not be the next American Idol! Seacrest out!

Wait! What? Where was I? Oh, now I understand what we need to do. Get rid of the humans! This comes as a real pick me up. You see for the longest time I thought we where going to have to get ride of the cows, and I love me some beef! I am just sick of you cow haters! I love cows and I'm not afraid to sinng it with pride.

"two all beef patties / special sauce / lettuce / cheese /
onions / on a sesame seed bun."

You crazy scientist claiming green house gases are caused by natural causes. We're not going to be swayed by logic. Deal with this logic!

What's so natural about cow flatulence and lava?

Take that! It's all hitting the fan now isn't it? You think I'm joking? It's only a matter of time until we start turning people people into natural un-sources in order to save mother earth, and when we do you better believe it's a turn or burn world.

Soylent Green is made of what? That's right, people. (crazy eyes)

2007-02-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

Well we are back from California and things went great. Camp was great. Even the food was good. Mm mm...meatballs. We had a January Christmas with my parents and Zoe got more toys. All in all it was a blast. Well Zoe was sick the whole time and didn't really let us sleep, but why focus on the negative. Speaking of which....
I was barely back to work when half the staff left for a conference. Now things have been handled really well in their absence, but that's not the point. What about the comradery? Sure i can spend my time checking the traps in Fred's office for mice or switching my office with Scott's but in the end aren't people the reason we do what we do? ANd I work with some great people. Why I remember this one time.....Come to think of it this may explain why we've been having problems with the copy machine. Well everyone will be back for Sunday and I can get back to more important things. Like updating my blog!

No one was hurt in the making of this blog. All guns are fake and all ammo made by Nerf.

2007-01-19T08:20:00.000-08:00

Going Back to Cali!

Just wanted to let you all know that I will be heading to California to do a little camp speaking. Please pray for me!!!!

Silver Spur's 2007 Winter Camps - Theme: Winter on Fire

Weekend 1 - January 26th-28th, 2007 (Winter camp I)

Weekend 2 - February 2nd-4th, 2007 (Winter camp II)

Jenn, Zoe and I will also be celebrating a late Christmas with my family.

2007-01-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

This year will be better then the last!

It is no secret that 2006 was a year of change for our little family. Zoe grew, got teeth and real personality. Jenn adjusted to the move from the office to the most important position of being mommy. I changed jobs. We sold our first house and moved to a new home. We also changed church families said goodbye to old friends and said goodbye to grandma.

In many ways I relate this last year to one of my favorite songs, "A Long December"by the Counting Crows.

My love for this song goes deeper then the references to California, which is where I grew up. It is more then the fond memorize I have of driving through Yosemite on spring break with the windows down and the Counting Crows blasting. Even more then the feelings of regret I have for not taking off work to see them in concert back in '94 when Andrew got tickets. No, it's the the connection I feel to the first line of the song.

"A long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last"

In many ways it feels like my family has been in a long December, cold, unfriendly and as it was here, lacking the beautiful white snow which can change a dreary day into a wonderland. We have spent many months wondering what God's plan was for us and how we would ever move past the coldness. Now just as our town is blanketed in fresh powder we are still just beginning to see what is possible as we wait upon the Lord for strength. Strength He has given us through friends both old and new and a church family that has reach out to embrace us. Our little family has grown stronger and one day we will tell our daughter how God moved us to where He wanted us even when we didn't understand His ways. Ways that may sometimes seem cold, but are always loving and always for our benefit. It is because we have confidence in God's unwavering love that we can go through the long December times of life without losing hope. Hope after all is what we can't live without.

So I say with confidence, "It's been a long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last, at least for those who trust in the Lord."

2006-12-27T14:12:00.000-08:00

The Little Adventure on Christmas Eve

2006-12-24T06:47:00.000-08:00

Merry Celebration in remembrance of the birth of Christ Jesus!
For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, he is the guy pictured as a baby in the straw. Usually there are some shepherds around him and possibly an Angel figure. Now I know that some of you may be offended by my mention of Jesus Christ AKA the Son of God, but I have an easy solution for you.....stop celebrating the holiday meant to remember him.

I mean this seriously. No Happy holidays. No made up holiday to cover it. Sorry Festivus. No giving gifts or Merry Frostymas. No more Saint Claus. Who I am sure would be really upset that you've taken Christ out of Christmas. The real Saint Nicholas, not the jolly red guy (He is fake) would not have liked what has been done to him or Christmas. You are not three anymore, you can take it. By now you should be old enough to except that people of a different faith are aloud to have their holidays with out you crying, "I want one too and then trashing theirs to make it more politically correct, and while we are on the topic why is it that when it comes to the term "politically correct" it is almost synonymous with "Slapping Christians around".
Just a question.

Here's another question. Why is Merry Christmas so offensive to say? If I am shopping for say......Christmas presents, and the store employees aren't aloud to say Merry Christmas, why would I shop there? Most stores are totally dependent on "Holiday" sales to give them a good year. Sure all the Columbus Day gifts help but not like Christmas...Oh I mean the Holidays...wait no I meant Christmas. The holiday where we give gifts to each other because of a great gift that was given to humanity. Some may say the greatest gift. The Savior Christ Jesus.

This is where it gets sticky. I'll just put it all on the table. The problem isn't baby Jesus is it? No it's the fact that some of us, often referred to as Christians (there's that Christ word again getting into everything) and many times called really nasty things, claim that the baby grew up. Man if he had just stayed a baby!!! Alas he did not and I for one am happy about that. We would not still be celebrating his birthday over 2000 years later if he had not grown up and done amazing things.

The amazing thing that really stands out in my mind is when he died for my sins so that I could be forgiven by God (AKA The Creator of the Universe). Then he topped it off by raising from the dead, providing us with eternal life (that's when you get to go to heaven). I'm not making this up. Check the book or Bible as we like to call it. Here let me help get you started with a cool Bible passage about the baby.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Luke 2

The Birth of Jesus
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ[a] the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ok so that may have been a little long for some of you to read, but I thought you needed a reminder. For those of you who like the abridge version here you go.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
John 3:16-18
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wow that rocks!!! Way better then holding up a sign at a football game. Now I know I just shocked some Christians out there. Many of you didn't realize there was more then the 3:16 part. In fact there is a lot more to be said about Jesus Christ. Oh for those of you who lost tract he's the Christmas birthday guy. So with all the great info about him in the Bible I'm sure that all you reasonable, fair minded people will take some time to read about him before jumping to any conclusions or making any broad sweeping generalizations about him.

So Merry Christians and Happy New Year!!!!!! And to all you Christians out there.....you may want to do a little reading yourselves and brush up on your Christ knowledge this year. There are a lot of people out there with a lot of questions and you could help them. Remember reading is safer then a Red Rider Beebe Gun and usually does not result in losing an eye or frost bite!

Merry Christmas from a former skeptic!

2006-12-18T22:28:00.000-08:00

Stop the Violence!
(Click on pictures)

2006-10-31T16:28:00.000-08:00

IT IS FINISHED!

Well after months of pain and stress the house is no longer ours. Hopefully this means that my ulcers will go away. I have already began sleeping better at night. True true, I have cut back on coffee this week, but that is not the reason for better sleep. After all caffeine has no effect on me (screams the jittery man)! No it all became so clear to me when I went through the bills this week. As I gazed down my mortgage bills and smiled....... Yes I smiled and thought, "I don't have to pay these anymore!" Suddenly that plasma TV seems so much closer to reality then ever before.

Yes, we did lose money on the house, but we learned a valuable lesson about life and faith. No I will not tell you what it was. Because I cry when I talk about it so get off my back. Anyway the thing I miss most about the house is the squirrels. They were fun. i know that they miss me too. After all who will feed them coffee beans now? Coffee and squirrels that never gets old.

I would like to thank Grandpa Art for lending me the money I needed to close on the house, Uncle Mark for fixing my furnace, big papa Ray for getting the bed out of the window and Troy, Austin, Jake and Hunter for moving things out!

Wow that was like my first "Shout Out" and it felt good. I think I'll have another. I'd like to thank Mr. Keane my 5th grade teacher for not turning me in when took a knife to school, Scott for busting my nose at the family reunion on the way back from the roller rink, and O'Doyel because you rule.

Thank you Dad for playing hours of speed ball with me, Mom for teaching me to shop , and Ricky for playing FF1 all the way to the end so that I could beat the final boss.

Thank you Randy for telling me about Jesus, Lorraine for asking me to speak at school, and Officer Johnson for giving me two speeding tickets.

Thank you Spam for giving me high blood pressure, Diet Pepsi for sucking the life from my bones, and Hulk Hogan for reminding me to take my vitamins.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, the house! So we are all moved and happy to live in a nice quiet town with no crime. Well no crime except the flamingo violence, but that is another story for another day.

So I've included a picture of our new place. Do you like?

2006-10-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

I hate dress clothes! Yes I do and anyone who has met me already knows that. When I was asked why I have such an adversity to up tight clothing I had a hard time answering. So I checked with my lawyer, who reminded me to never use my real name while talking about things that are "Classified" or "secret". That guy is so up tight. Anyway.....

The whole thing harkens back to my time as a double "O" agent in her majesties secret service.

"But your not even British" you say. Really, and I bet you are one of those Yankee yahoos that believe the colonies really won the so-called American Revolution. Sure and that's why the Queen has here eye on us. Don't believe me? Why do you think we still have Canada hanging over our head? They are there to keep an eye on us. We're just a test tube for some of the Monarchies more outrageous ideas. Like using your hands in a Football game or getting rid of Simon Cowell. Just look at him. He's still cranky about it. But you know what the Queen avoided a peasant uprising and that's what counts. Besides there is no other way to explain the way Americans feel toward the French. And have you ever looked closely at just whose eye is on the U.S. dollar. Look familiar?

Back on topic.

"But you don't look like James Bond" you say. Well no I don't, but neither does Daniel Craig, but they still cast him to play Bond in the film. Seriously do you really think that British secrete agents look like the movies? Come on say it with me.......

"The movies are not real and I don't believe everything I see on TV."

Good Job! See your head didn't even explode.

The truth is that if you knew what an agent looked like we would be of no use to England. Now I probably shouldn't show you this, but here's a class picture from my days at the Royal Academy.

Now if you have read my profile you know who I am. I had to protect the identity of most of my classmates otherwise I'm sure the New York Times would out me for leaking sensitive materials.

Two of them need no such protection. First, Paul Meyer. This guy was, well Paul Meyer. The Meyer family has long been known for striking terror into the hearts of the masses. In fact we used to hear screams of "PAUL MEYER" everywhere back in the day. So if you happen to see him.... turn and walk away!

The second is Patrick. Don't worry about seeing Pat because he's a ninja. Chances are that if you are anywhere close to him you will be dead soon.

So most of the time I don't mind just waxing on and on about all the fun I had with a license to kill. (Yes mom, only bad people are referred to being hurt in the writing of this blog so don't worry.) There is one story that just freaks me out every time I talk about it. It was the day I got my first suit. We went to visit the Queen's personal tailor. Oddly enough his name was Taylor. He was freaky. Now there are all kinds of freaky in this world and he was "killer clown" freaky. He just kept jabbin' me with those pins, and yes I cried. Ok, I'm man enough to admit it. Those girls laughed at me, and that really hurt.

Guys am I right? Nothing hurts like a girl laughing at you. Now remember these girls had skills and could kill a charging rhino with their pinky nail. I didn't want to show weakness so I did the only thing I could! I ran out of the store a picked a fight with the first guy I saw. Unfortunately the first guy happened to be an entire rugby team. Believe me I took no joy in handing them the beat down of their lives, but I had to save face in front of the ladies. Why oh why must we try to impress the ladies. It makes us do such stupid things!

So as you can see I have good reason to hate dress clothes. Oh and they just aren't comfortable too. So never ask me again!

2006-09-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

Try To Stay Calm

Well Fred is off at a convention this week so it is safe to give you all an update. I was just about convinced that Fred was not a ninja. He, after all, is so convincing in his alter ego as a middle mannered Pastor of Connections. He has such a loving family and he love animals.

So when he left for the "Willow Creek Conference" I thought nothing of it, but then this was sent to me!

How can I ignore this? i don't know who sent it! What does it mean? Is it some kind of sick joke or warning? Maybe Fred is not at the church leaders conference.....maybe he is at the NINJA CONVENTION! He is probably learning no ways to ............

No I better not talk about it. How do I even know if Fred is gone? He's so stealthy. He could be here right now!

2006-09-15T06:29:00.000-07:00

I am wrestling with whether or not I should ask a co-worker a question. Now those of you who know me also know that I normally get past the overwhelming fear of asking a difficult question. If fact most of the time I should take more time to think through what I ask, but this is different.

I have been at my new job for about a month, and things have been going well. One of the big differences at this job, besides feeling happy and thinking outside the box, is that I share an office. I share it with Fred.

Fred is, as everyone who has ever meet him knows, a great guy. Just look at him! He has great guy written all over him. When people see my picture they normally think "felon" or at least "witness protection", which is another story that I shouldn't talk about according to my lawyer. Anyway Fred is a great guy with an even greater family. That is not the question at all. So just to be absolutely clear, "Fred's greatness is not in question!" So Fred if you read this we are cool, ok.

The thing is that ever since we started working together I have had the sinking suspicion that Fred is a ninja. Now don't call me crazy before you look at this picture.
So look at it. Now look at the picture of Fred. It's as clear as day! Ok maybe not that clear, but what if I told you that this is a picture of a ninja named Fred? Then what would you think? So I don't really have any proof at all that this ninja is named Fred, but just look him he has ninja written all over him. I also have been picking up some other signs

First, ponder how good Fred looks in black. That is just not natural, unless you are a ninja. Secondly, I never know if he is in the office. He is so stealthy and quieter then a church mouse. In fact just this morning Fred scared me half to death when I finally realized he was right behind me. Had Fred been sent to "off" me? No! Because I would be dead. Ninjas do not miss! Which brings me to my next point. Fred has an deadly accurate throwing arm, which he uses to hit me in the chest, at random times, with crumpled paper and other handy things. You may not find this to be impressive, but he does it without being seen. Ninja? I think so.

Then there is Fred's favorite movie. Yes, its true that many people have enjoyed the comic stylings of Chris Farley, but very few dissect the fight scenes of Beverly Hills Ninja the way Fred does.

Then there is also the almost reverent tone in which Fred whispers of the new TMNT movie. Truly one of the most anticipated movies since Star Wars.

Well other then that I guess there really isn't any other evidence pointing to Fred being a ninja. I will probably let it go though. After all Fred is a great guy and really involved in the community. You may have seen him around. Here's a picture of Fred with his softball team.

And here is a picture of his dance team. They are good! Graceful, skilled, stealthy and almost mystical in their execution. I saw them last week and all I can say is they killed!

Fred is also an animal lover. Check out this picture he just sent me of the dog he rescued last week. It's a great story with lives hanging in the balance and all that jazz. I really just skimmed it for content, but don't tell Fred that.

All and all I like Fred, but I still wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley, and I keep having this feeling that Fred and I had met before. Like when we were younger.

If i remember I'll let you know.
Until then I think I'll hold off on asking Fred about the whole ninja thing, but I'll be watching.

2006-08-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

Getting Settled In

Hey just wanted to let you all know that I am getting settled into my new office.
We are still praying that our house will sell, but we feel very positive about the move.

I would also like to wish my brother a very happy birthday, and yes ladies he is still single. Here he is with my daughter.

2006-08-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

New Church Home

I am happy to announce that Sunday August 20th, marks the beginning of my new position as Pastor of Student Ministries at Hillcrest Bible Church.

So we are off to Oregon! Now I know the trip is long, but I hope our friends can still visit us. If you are coming from the Waukesha area it should only take you about an hour and fifteen minutes. Yes, an hour and fifteen minutes!

Did I fail to mention that we are moving to Oregon Wisconsin? That's right just south of Madison. The journey takes less time then hiking Yosemite falls, or rush hour traffic in the San Francisco Bay Area. Though it is longer then a trip to Berkeley with either Tim, Andrew or myself driving. Now that's fast, but not entirely life threatening.

"Not entirely life threatening?" you ask. Not as entirely life threatening as the speeds we hit on the German Autobahn. That is a good story, and the German government still denies any knowledge of our activities. Really that is Gabe's story to tell.

Very, very life threatening.

Still less life threatening then the time we found out why Eskimos don't weave baskets under water, but those stories are not the focus of today's celebration. I must say that I was against it from the start, but if I hadn't jumped in I couldn't have lived with myself. Oh, that thing about rubbing noses. Not true at all, but I digress.

Please check out our new church home by clicking on the "iwork" link to the right. We really felt welcomed by the church family and not at all like our lives where threatened.

2006-08-15T14:54:00.000-07:00

Schwander-The MisAdventures of the Rambling Soul #1

Click on comic!

2006-08-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

This Food Has Healing Power

Today I experienced a savory taste sensation. Now I am a monster when it comes to thin crust pizza. It has got to be good or get it out of my face. So when Aaron invited me for lunch I was a bit skeptical about trying a new place. "Big Guys Grille? Never heard of it!", I thought skeptically. Now I learned long ago not to challenge Aaron's judgment when it comes to food. Not since the "Greasy Spoon Adventure" outside of Toledo, but that is a story for another day.

Aaron and I where absorbed with the XBOX 360 so Mrs. "Aaron's Mom" Eberline picked up the pie. So with a thank, paper plate and diet Pepsi in hand I dove in. Wow! Big Guy's Grille packs a punch. My stomach was filled to the limit and my tongue danced a jig. I nearly had to be dragged away from the box. Not the XBOX the pizza box, though there have been times when I do need to be dragged from the XBOX 360 also. So if you are ever in the area give the Big Guys a try.

Big Guy's Grille is located on:
701 N Grandview Blvd. Waukesha WI. 53188 Phone #(262)650-3000
E-Mail us at: thebigguy@bigguysgrille.com
Hours: Monday: Saturday : 11am-9pm Sunday: Closed
OPEN FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHTS FOR PIZZA PICK-UP'S ONLY, UNTIL 10:00 pm

I received no money from Big Guy's Grille or XBOX 360 for endorsing them. I am not opposed to getting paid to endorse products if anyone would like to pay me.

2006-08-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

MARKINGS OF A MISCHIEVOUS PAST

Here we are in the dog days of summer and the hot weather has driven us to the pool! Now I'm not one for public swimming, but it was so hot!!! Why don't I like public swimming you ask? Its not the extra winter weight I'm still carrying or the mysterious warm spots that seem to have a yellow haze. No its the constant questions about my tattoos. People are always asking, "What's the story behind that one?", or, "Why did you get that?"

Some of them are just long stories of youthful indiscretion. Stories that I don't want to take the time to share when I'm in the middle of a belly flop contest with a ravenous pack of Jr. High boys. Those are just mementos of a life long lost to me, and most are not as embarrassing as the way I chose to show my undying allegiance to a certain television phenomenon. I try to stay calm while discussing it, but usually end up screaming something along the lines of, "He was robbed of the win!', or "More then just grandmothers love his music!" At which point I brake down and agree to tell the tail behind one of my more colorful pieces of body art.Truth be told I don't really like talking about my past, but "true story" this one gets my blood pumping! And that my friend is why I live, for adrenaline.

Where was I? Oh, yes. It all began while I was traveling Europe trying to find out the origins of my mother's maiden name, Grotzke. I was just tired of not knowing whether or not to be offended by Polish jokes! Everyone should travel Europe at a young age it really helps clarify things. Things like history, politics, hygiene and why we have freedom fries among others. It was a blast! All the freedom and non of the trappings of responsibility.

Well it all changed when Lech Walesa was elected the first President of Poland on December 10,1990, I had to stop by for the party because I have an odd connection to Lech. Now some of you may be confused because Lech Walesa looks so much like my dad, and I still filch every time I mention him. After all how much teasing can an elementary school kid take? "Your dad's Lech Walesa! Ha Ha!", they used to yell. I am so glad that the American school system has deteriorated so much that kid's don't know who he is any more. I would hate to think of my daughter having to endure the taunts of "Your grandpa's Lech Walesa! Ha Ha!"

Anyway just to put the issue to rest once and for all. The black and white picture is Lech Walsa first President of Poland and the color picture is my dad, Phil "Not Phillip" Neuenschwander.
No resemblance at all! Ok back to our story.

In August 1991, Moldova, which is the Romanian name of the region, was declared an independent republic. One minute I was traveling within the glorious USSR under the safety of mother Russia and the next I was trapped under the oppressive rule of the Commonwealth of Independence States. The CIS was, as we all know, just a lie propagated by Russia to appease the West. Ok enough of the history lesson. The point is that Moldova began a guerilla war for independence and I was caught in the middle.

The shock was that I, like every other left handed boy with a mischievous streak, was drafted into the Moldovian Pirating Core. Don't get the wrong idea I'm all down with independence, but when I was grabbed away from my morning coffee it put me into a surly mood! So I swashed and I buckled with an intensity never before seen in all of the Baltic region. At this point some of you may be wondering why you have never heard of the dreaded Moldovian pirates. I'd have to say its the same reason you have never been tempted to vacation in Moldova. Bad PR! Its hard to compete with Russia, who gets the Beatles and Scorpion to write rocking party songs about them. We couldn't even get Phish to play our bon voyage party, and we offered them all the weed in the Shire. But I digress.

The odd thing was that surly moods really get you far in pirating. It also helped that I understood how to read a map and was blessed with a seventh grade teacher who taught me the properties of gun powder. Truth be told most of the native Moldovians had never been aloud to leave the country before so I was really the only "world traveler" on the ship. When this was discovered I was quickly made the navigator. Being the navigator meant that I got to go to many of the places I had always wanted to go. Here's a picture of the crew on the island of Tobago.
Yes, there where quit a few women on the crew. Most pirates would have believed women on a ship to be bad luck. Moldova is however a very forward thinking and progressive nation. A nation that did not discriminate based on sex, race or religion. They do however hold to an ancient myth which prophesied that a great left handed boy would lead them into a golden age. This worked in my favor of course along with that whole understanding gun powder thing. That "understanding" was something that good old Capitan Jack didn't possess. No matter how many times I told him not to smoke near the powder keg he just wouldn't listen. Needless to say he was careless and after a rather large explosion all we found was his hat. A hat that I wore with pride the day I became captain. I did clean the hat a bit first.

With my new promotion I needed a new navigator and my brother Scott had recently joined the crew so he got the job. Some of the crew did complain about what they called an obvious case of nepotism, but I warned them not to question the wisdom of the leader of the golden age. After that anyone who complained was dealt with by Pepi'.

Now Scott really did look good in the gear of the buccaneer, but other then that I never really understood why he volunteered to join the crew. Although some of the crew claimed to have over heard him mumble something like, "can't let my brother get all the booty!", in his sleep. So I pretty much think he was in it for the money. That and he only wears a shirt when he has to. Just like a pirate!

Now if you ever meet Scott don't hesitate to ask him who he got his pirating tattoo. It really is a great story and happens to be the same story as mine, but I don't have time to cover all the details here. Truthfully I may be a little jealous do to the fact that I wanted that tattoo. We actually had to play a game of dice to settle who got which piece of body art. You may wonder why we both couldn't have it. The answer is easy, rule 13. Rule 13 was set down after the big Aiken incident of Papua New Guinea. After a very successful raid the crew wanted to show their loyalty and appreciation by getting the same tattoo. Unfortunately Scott convince them that my Akin tattoo was of the great pirate Joshua "Baby Face" Barron. Needless to say if you ever run across a pirate with this "Barron" tattoo, DO NOT MOCK! Mocking caused the death of a grandmother in Spain and I just could not live with another incident like that. Any way rule 13 plainly states that no two pirates can bare the same tattoo. Unfortunately this also has lead to many deaths do to an oversight on my part. I did fail to state that a pirate and a dead man could not have the same mark.

Now don't go crazy with wonder. I do intend to reveal the story of this mysterious Pepi'. Pepi', who was also known as the bringer of pain, was non other then my trusty Peruvian Llama. Pepi' was a direct descendent of the great royal Llamas who protected the Inca kings. Sadly he was forced to flee his native land when the Peruvian Inca Orchids, also known as the Inca Hairless dogs, came to power during the disco revolution of 1981. Disco came late to Peru. When I found Pepi' he was scraping a living working at a petting zoo in north Jersey. So we liberated him from a venomous horde of kindergarteners and set sail. It took him about a month to get his sea legs and after that he was unstoppable. I believe it possible that Pepi' could have been captain one day if it had not been for an undying prejudice against those lacking a posable thumb.

Pepi', Scott and I had a good thing going. Sadly a man has got to follow his dreams and Scott had always dreamt of being a professional TV talk show host. Who was I to stand in his way. It was a sad day when the letter from Telemundo arrived and off Scott went.

After Scott's departure things where never the same. Pepi' did his best, but he is no navigator and we ran aground several times. He did redeem himself while saving my life from a shark when I fell in the tank at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Sadly in his zeal to save his beloved Capitan he forgot that he did not swim. Lucky for me his floating carcass distracted the shark as I swam for shore.

The loss of Pepi' signaled the end of my pirating days. The crew was disbanded and the ship was donated to the Molovian national museum. I took to land and headed south to visit an old friend in Israel. Unbeknownst to me my trail had been picked up by the famous bounty hunter, James "Law Dog" Law. After a close call in Bethlehem he finley cornered me in India. I was all alone just me and my swash buckling sultan sword, but that is another story.

2006-08-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

The Big Finish

Well months of work came down to one day. A day of frantic paint flinging and trim cutting and broom sweeping. The
"FOR SALE" sign has been placed in the freshly cut yard and the bags of weeds have been tossed on the side of the garage.

We are done! Well almost done. Ok we still have to finish the basement bathroom, but other than that we are done. What a relief. I all most don't know what to do with myself.

Here are some pictures for those of you who have never seen our place.
I would also like to that the good friends that came to help on Saturday.

I would list your names, but then everyone would be calling you for help and I don't want you to get worn out . After all I still need help moving! Now don't ask where we're going to move because we still don't know. Keep Praying!

2006-07-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

Go!Go!Go!

Well I just wanted to let everyone know that I have decided to follow my true destiny!!

I'm leaving it all behind to follow my dream of being a professional Go Cart Racer!!!!
People ask me why I would throw it all away.

Well its in my blood. From a very young age I have craved the smell of burnt rubber and the open roads of enclosed Go Cart tracks. Here's a picture of me when I could barely walk, yet I screamed until my mom let me race. And race I did! Now this was back in the day when a young boy could still take his cart right out in the street and risk his life if he wanted too!! It was also the time when dogs would roam the neighborhood freely chasing Go charts. Nothing teaches you to drive better then a rabid dog named "Molly". And here's a black and white photo of me and Molly on a "friendly" day.

Some days I still miss her..........I wish that car had.

That was way back in 1967 when I trained eight days a week and only slept three hours on every Tuesday and my dad would chase me with the lawn mower to keep me sharp. And Scott, my loving older brother, would climb a tree so he could get a better shot at me with his Red Rider BB Gun. The whole thing was a real bonding experience for the family.

That was intense, but it was all worth it when I was invited to race over seas. Here I am with my mom before the big race in Ireland. As you can see the long days of training took there toll with massive weight loss and sun burnt skin. I give my mom a lot of credit of not letting me give up. Though I cried and cried she would not let me quit. I still remember her inspirational speech like it was yesterday. "Listen you baby,' she yelled,"We didn't spend all that money on airfare for you to wuss out because of some tender skin and hunger pains!" Oh mom, I love you too!

It wasn't all lollipops and pixie sticks though as I nearly lost it all when I was jack-knifed by a young Al Gore in the final qualifying race. I was a little shaken up, but poor Al was thrown from the competition. Don't worry though he went on to invent the internet and global warming. He can also grow a real good beard which makes anyone look cool!

Speaking of cool, upon returning to the good old USA, I got really into Go Cart jumping. I started out small. Mostly little ramps getting like three feet of air, but soon the 80's hit. What was so big about the 80's? Well the hair for one thing! The other was that light-weight plastics and metal alloys became available. Lighter material equals lighter Go Carts! So the jumps got bigger.

This brings us to the point where my dream got side tracked. It was the summer of 1984 and I knew I needed to do something to prove that big brother couldn't quash my ever lovin' free spirit!

So I set out to do what everybody else, besides Evil Knievel, was to smart to do. Jump the GRAND CANYON!!!!
I still remember the media frenzy. It was a mad house. All the stars came out to see me jump, David Hasselhoff, the Dukes of Hazard, the A-Team and the cast of Happy Days.
It was every boy's dream come true. I stood and stared out over God's magnificent creation, with the sounds of the Partridge Family playing in the background, at that moment I realized something very important about myself.

I CAN'T JUMP THE GRAND CANYON!!!!!! WHAT AM I CRAZY?????? I turned and began to walk with resolve over to a pack of reporters. I was going to call it off! I'm not crazy! I don't want to die! Just then I felt my father's hand on my shoulder. "Son', he said, "I know you're scared, but remember, we lost a lot of money investing in eight track cassettes, and your brother is making a killing selling T-shirts for this so don't blow it now!"

The next thing I remember is waking up in a body cast. The years was 1990 and the world had changed. I don't remember much, but apparently I got really into the Grudge Rock Revolution during high school. My parents tell stories of me randomly yelling, "Kill Your Television" and mumbling something about an Atomic Dustbin. Honestly I was so scared that I'd try something stupid that I hardly left my room when sleeping and then only for a midnight snack or Slurpee fix. Oh man I loved gettin' me some blue berry Slurpee!

"Praise God!", was all I could say when I found out Jesus was the answer. He took care of that whole 'fear of death" thing for me, but I still wouldn't go near a Go cart. I mean sure Jesus forgave me of my sins and I get to go to Heaven because He paid the price for me, but that's no reason to go risking my life on the race track of death!

I did try competitive golf cart racing for a summer, but it seemed to lack the intensity of Go carting and I'm not a real lawn person. Plus all those old guys where using performance enhancing drugs. Get of the Juice Grandpa, and don't call me sonny!

So things stayed pretty dry on the adrenaline front. I got most of my rushes from new and exotic coffees, but it just wasn't the same. Then came the phone call. My buddy Austin was putting together a team to take on the Wisconsin Dells. Now I had never been to the Dells before, being a west coast boy, but I had heard that they had some sweet tracks. Tracks that required some skills. Driving skills, turning skills, drifting skills, you know skills! The question was whether or not I was ready to get behind the wheel again. Let's just say we tore it up!!!!! I say we because I've learned a valuable lesson over the years. It's about the team. You may be a good driver, but you need a good team to be great.

So if anybody asks you what Pastor Brian is up to these days you just tell them that I'm livin' the dream and makin' tires scream!

2006-07-27T17:31:00.000-07:00

Give This Movie A Chance

Lady In The Water is one of the best films I have ever seen. The sad thing is that the advertising for this film was handled so badly that most people are expecting a twisted horror film.

In fact, Lady in the Water is a well crafted bedtime story woven through with rich Eastern mythology.

Paul Giamatti gives the performance of a lifetime and Bryce Dallas Howard avoids the pitfalls of over-playing a mythical character. The biggest surprise comes in the form of M. Night Shyamalan showing up as, not a cameo, but as a pivotal character. I had no idea he was able to act so well. The rest of the cast is well rounded and believable.

I will not give away any of the twists and turns of this film. I will tell you this, pay attention! As she was leaving the theatre, I heard a woman ask, "Why did she----(Spoiler)-----?"And I thought to myself, "To know that, you would have had to listen to the beginning of the film."

Finally, a film where paying attention to the plot helped me enjoy it not rip it to shreds.

2006-07-16T14:16:00.000-07:00

ATTACKED!!!!

2006-07-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

Taking Time To Think I just wanted to take time to tell my church family that I miss you.
As I sit in this Starbucks in Pittsburg California pondering what the Lord has in store for the future- I wondered.... do you know howmuch your support has meant to my family.

I just want to thank everyone that has shown us love and support through this difficult time.

2006-06-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

It Took Some Time

Honestly I just needed to let myself feel it.

It took awhile, but it did hit me.

I have been putting up a good front.

And I don't want people to get me wrong.

I ment what I said and it was honest. I know nothing of hope apart from God.

He is my sustainer. I am not strong of myself and that is what I was doing.....just being strong.

I am not strong, but Christ is strong in me.

Now that I have let myself feel.....

...maybe I can start to move on.

The problem is that I don't want to move on.

I want to fight because what happened is just wrong.

It shouldn't happen in the body of Christ.

Hey, isn't this picture of Emily great?

Check out this one! I think something went really wrong during dinner.

2006-06-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

HOW AM I DOING?

People keep asking me how I am doing. Most of the time when people ask that you respond, "fine" of "good".
I really can't say that. I have been telling people, "I'm still breathing", as if to say, "well I'm not dead yet so that's good".
The truth be told, which does not seem to happen very much around here......
I am not doing fine.
Yes, I am still breathing, but all is not well.

I have never felt so betrayed in my life.
I have never been so blindsided in my life.
I have never questioned what I believe about grace the way I do now.
I have never found it so hard to be me.
I have never been so willing to give so much to have normal again.
I have never felt like I tried so much and got so little in return.

I have to ask myself, "Should I have seen this coming?"
You tell me........ I'm just trying to breath right now! Like I was chested out of nowhere!

If I didn't have God what would I have to hope in?
Nothing.....and that may be the only thing I really understand right now.

2006-06-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

Got That Off My Back!

It only took eleven years and 4 schools, but it did happen. Ok it really took only took 6 years of going to school. Well only two of those years where full-time. So two full time years, four part time years and five lazy Sunday years brings us to now.

I finally have my Bachelors of Theology. Now I will never need to study again!!!!!!! We all had a great time in Seattle.

2006-04-13T13:47:00.000-07:00

Beloved wife, mother, grandmother and great grandmother.

Mildred Neuenschwander-She has past on from this life of pain and entered into the eternal joy of Christ Jesus.

Mildred Neuenschwander, 84, a resident of Forest, Virginia, and a former Berne resident, died at 4:40 a.m. on Friday, April 7, 2006 at her home. She was born on June 5, 1921, in Adams County, to Jacob and Ona (Moser) Stucky. She was married on November 7, 1952 to Rev. Art Neuenschwander. He survives. Visitation is from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. on Wednesday, April 12, at Yager-Kirchhofer Funeral Home and one hour prior to the 10:00 a.m. service on Thursday, April 13 at the funeral home. Burial will be at Evangelical Mennonite Church Cemetery.

As I write this I sit in a room at the Black Bear Inn. I do not remember the last time I was in Indiana and I don't know if I will be here again, but I do know why I am here now. Grandma Millie was one of the sweetest women to ever grace the stage of my life. Her smile and joy will forever remain tucked away in my heart. I must tell you that I am not alone in my assessment of her sweetness. These are not sugar coated memories, but substantiated truth echoed by those who came to bid her farewell.

I have been truly blessed to grow up with a sweet little grandma and she is so missed. -I love you grandma.

2006-04-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

This Baby Rocks!
Zoe has begun chanting Da Da over and over again. Now her mom claims that this is just baby ramblings, but take it from one who knows a lot about rambling! Zoe is talking to her daddy! I can tell from these early chants that God has chosen to gift Zoe with mad speech skills. Though there maybe some debate as to which of her parents is the better speaker. There is no such debate as to where Zoe must have loud mouth from.

Da Da!!
I get the same look on my face when I yell.

2006-03-29T06:39:00.000-08:00

The Job #2

So I have been absent from the online community due to a life change. I have entered the world of nine to five once again. Do to the added expense and Jen's job change I needed to get a second job. I was hoping for a big raise, but that didn't happen!
Anyway I have some really cool guys form church that set me up with the greatest frozen pizza company on the planet. So now twice a week I break away from the warm and fuzzy world of church ministry and enter the frozen winter of pre-made pizza bliss.

The best part (other than standing in the 40 degree room) is that I get to work with a few of those cool guys I told you about. So as of this week I have added a new item to my life to-do list. It reads simply: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!! ....and under that it details my plan. I will explain it in brief.

First I learn to make the greatest pizza ever.
Second I get everyone addicted to the greatest pizza ever.
Third I threaten to with hold the greatest pizza ever if I am not elected second highest ruler of the galaxy.

Why second you ask. Well because I am not try to unseat God. The last time that happened Satan got his butt kicked out of heaven and the whole world went to sin. I for one would like us all to learn a lesson from this.
STOP PLAYING GOD! You are not good at it and the position is taken!!!

In all honesty my plan is not original. I am simply following the example of the great Col. Sanders who laced his chicken with an addictive chemical that caused people to crave it fort-nightly. Thank heavens he was stopped, but the combined efforts of American and British intelligence agents. Just think if the Col. had not tried to cross the Atlantic ocean and drawn the attention of MI6.

I will not suffer this set back! I know that I will receive support from the media, who will see me as an oppressed free thinker that the government is trying to keep down. By the time they figure out what I am really it will be to late. They too will have fallen under pizza control. Actually who am I kidding? I media will never figure out what I am doing even though I just told them.

2006-03-11T06:12:00.000-08:00

Well It Has Been Awhile! (Why I have not posted lately)

I have had the blessing of family poured out on my life of late. First my mother came to visit (as I explained in a previous post). Then this last week, in a massive surprise for my birthday, my brother came to visit. He brought warmer weather with him apparently and it left with him too.

I will detail the surprise later.

First to address the question of this blog's name. I suspect that we all know what ramblings are so, "What is a Reformed Malcontent?"

v. re·formed
v. tr.
To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition.
To abolish abuse or malpractice in: reform the government.
To put an end to (a wrong). See Synonyms at correct.
To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.

v. intr.
To change for the better.

mal·con·tent
adj.-Dissatisfied with existing conditions.

n.-A chronically dissatisfied person.
One who rebels against the established system

Putting these to words together has helped express the change in my life. Although it has been over ten years I still remind myself in little and big ways of how chronically dissatisfied I was as a hopeless high school grad with no future and little if any desire to live. My life was totally altered, corrected, put into a better form and condition the day that God took hold of my life. So I am a reformed malcontent who rambles on this blog page and constantly in public also. If you have more questions reguarding God's work in my life please take the link marked "iwork". You will find me under the leadership and staff links.

2006-02-16T18:13:00.000-08:00

Snow!

Well after weeks of wondering if winter had forgotten us it finally came. Just in time for my mom's visit. For those of you that don't know Mom is coming from California. She likes to look at snow or pictures of snow, but not a big fan of the cold that is normally associated with snow.

Mom is however a big fan of baby Zoe. Her first and only grandchild. I am sure that she is also a fan of Jen (my wife) and maybe even a little bit of a fan of me.

The biggest disappointment is that my Dad and brother (Scott), who does bare a striking resemblance to Vannilla Ice, will not make it. Both are hard workers, although my Dad hates the snow more than liberals hate the fact that Freedom of Religion includes Christianity, my brother would have helped me with the snow.

Snow after all is what this post is all about.

Oh, that is a picture of Hilary Clinton or at least the way I imagine she would look if she read my blog. Happy! I think that's her happy look. I can't be sure though. I'll ask her the next time I see her.

2006-02-08T20:20:00.000-08:00

The Death of Lappy!

Well it happened last Monday night. I was walking casually from the coffee shop when it hit me, or rather I hit it. The patch of ice that sent me sprawling. It wasn't a small patch of ice either. It was "to the extreme" so to speak. I don't know how I didn't see it coming. As I hit the asphalt with a thud this thought ran through my mind, "Did I just waist $40 dollars on a chiropractor treatment today?" The answer was yes. The second thought was, "How is it that I still manage to fall on ice during the warmest winter in Wisconsin recorded history?" Just a talent I guess. Kind of like the way "I rock the mic like a vandal!"

Only latter did I discover that my laptop or "Lappy" as I like to call him, had taken the worst of the fall. He put up quite the fight, but in the end he gave up the ghost. The hardest part to swallow was the realization that I had not backed up my hard drive in about four months. How could I be so stupid? Well if you recall my life changed drastically about four months age. Change in the form of baby Zoe. So what have I learned from all this?

Don't have kids!

Just kidding! I love Zoe and I hope she can learn to love her forgetful father.
The best part has been the reminder of God's love for me even when I'm falling on the ice. Things could have been much worse. Hopefully I can pass that lesson on to Zoe and help her across a few of life's trickier patches.

And just in case you were wondering. Yes, that is a picture of my brother Scott in 1990.

WORD TO OUR MOTHER! I'm out of here.

2006-01-28T14:57:00.000-08:00

Chesting is a time honored tradition dating back to.........

Jan. 19th of this year!

It is played by the same rules that our forefathers played by when they engaged in such tomfoolery.
Chesting is not for the weak of heart or chest, and should only be played by the bravest of competitors.

You may be asking yourself, "What is chesting?" Well sadly chesting has some simple rules that must be followed at all times. They are as follows:
1) We do not talk about Chesting.
2) We DO NOT talk about Chesting!

Good now that we have gotten that out of the way let me tell you how to play.

First of all someone sneaks up and punches some in the chest. Then the chesty becomes the Chester and must find another person to chest. That pretty much sums it up!

Now a few words of warning:
a) I suggest that you do not chest people who have no sense of humor.

b) Chesting is not really supposed to be a coed game. So stay away from that!

c) Hitting someone in the chest may not be allowed by your parents or local, state or national government. So you will want to check into that before starting.

Well there you have it! Now get out there and take part in the greatest sport ever invented (or as if is often referred to as,"that weird game I saw on a t.v. show last week)!

Good night and good luck.

PS. Here is a picture of what Jim would like if I chested him.

2006-01-27T22:01:00.001-08:00

Who or what is this?
Who is she?Who let these guys in?Do you need help? Take your finger out of that!

What?

No I can't hear you over the screams!

This was not my idea!

I believe he invited us for a time of fellowship.

Yes, fellowship is the word he used.

Lemons? Yes I do remember something about lemons.....

Ok for the last time would someone claim that!

2006-01-22T23:37:00.000-08:00

Well it has been a busy weekend! Jen took baby Zoe on her first trip out of state. Sadly the trip was the result of family moving away, but we hope to see them again soon. I was also gone to the back woods of Wisconsin. No, I was not off killing things, but instead of the joy of hunting I had the joy of Jr and Senior High school students on a winter retreat. I will post my thoughts on the retreat later. Today is dedicated to missing my beautiful ladies and finally posting the pictures of Zoe that my family have been waiting on for so long.
This first picture is of me holding Zoe while working on my blog.

In this picture I was trying to teach Zoey to sit up.

Zoe enjoys her fist. You can read more about that on her mom's blog.
You can get there by clicking on the link in the side panel .

She has quickly out grown the need for the support pillows.

If you can't tell from the pictures we believe that Zoe will be a redhead like her mom. She does have her fathers dimples though!
I hope to get a picture of them soon.

Having mastered the art of leaning Zoey now demands a place of honor on dad's stomach! Dad doesn't mind at all.

2006-01-18T11:15:00.000-08:00

Take a moment:

-to think on the things of God.

-to be honest with ourself.

-to put aside your bias.

-to put off the things others have told you.

-to find out for yourself what is really contained within the pages of the number one best seller of all time.

-to forgive.....because no one is perfect.

-to respond in love when others spew hate.

-to ponder grace and.....

........to dance in it!

2006-01-18T10:13:00.000-08:00

UNLEASH THE POWERS WITHIN YOU

Well that's what the back of the case said, but I really felt that it should read, "Unleash the repetitive game play within this game".

Today I am reviewing Kameo, one of the launch titles for the Xbox 360. First off I must say that I wouldn't have bothered playing this game at all if it were not for the beautiful graphics. Secondly, my first point contained all the nice things I have to say about it.

Graphics......Great

Story............Weak

Sound..........Good

Game Play...Limited

Me...... Disappointed

Now I have to admit that I didn't really stay with this game (as it lost my interest so quickly). I will point out that if games like Halo or Splinter Cell are your bread and butter, and if you get your fantasy in the form of Elder Scroll or Final Fantasy this is not the game for you. However if you are looking for a beautifully rendered, non-engaging distraction from your already wasted life........this would be it.

P.S. Thank you Hunter for letting me borrow this game!

2006-01-13T17:11:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to let you know how I am feeling today. Sometimes what you really need to do is sleep, but what you have to do is work. Then you end up so worn out that you can't sleep. If only I was allowed to express myself like baby Zoey. The indiscernible cries, not the other things. That would stink!

Speaking of stink-The basement bathroom floor has been poured. Thank you Ray(my father-in-law)! I helped him with another job and he helped me with mine. I use the word "helped" to represent the fact that I carried bags of concrete up and down stairs along with dirt and rocks. Ray did all the stuff that requires any type of knowledge and skill. He also taught me some new skills along the way.

Have you ever noticed that people spend way more time complaining about their job than they do bettering themselves so they can get a better job?

No I am not looking for a better job (because I love what I do), but I am getting all my "stuff" taken care of so that I can (hopefully) start on my Masters this fall. Yes, I know it has taken along time, but I had other things on my mind. Things like life, love, God and cheese.

Have you thought about cheese today?
You know what I'm saying....really thought about it! If you have then good. Now you can move past it and give some serious thought to God. If you haven't thought about cheese today then I suggest you skip it and move straight on to considering God. Once you've considered God then attempt communication. He is always listening and he never gets worn out.

Did you know that I feel worn out?

I guess I'll talk to God about it.

That always makes me feel better.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Oh, yes I feel better already!

2006-01-09T12:01:00.000-08:00

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

When The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was first announced I was thrilled, but as the release drew nearer I began to dread what Hollywood could do to this classic.

Last year I read a very disturbing article in which HarperCollins Publishers, the company that holds the rights to the books, announced its plans to create a new series of Narnia children's novels and picture books, using a stable of established children's fantasy writers. They promised to stay true to the works of C.S. Lewis, but a HarperCollins strategy memo leaked to the media stated otherwise:

"Obviously, this is a biggie as far as the estate and our publishing interests are concerned, we'll need to be able to give emphatic assurances that no attempt will be made to correlate the stories to Christian imagery/theology."

What was I to expect from the movie when I had heard that the new books would be devoid of the deep Christian allegory that I had enjoyed discovering as a child? In all honesty, I wasn’t expecting much more than a good family film.

When I viewed the film, I was pleasantly surprised to find it a sharp, well-produced movie adaptation that not only drew me into the world of Narnia, but also enriched my childhood memories of the book. The child actors were easily embraced as Edmond, Susan, Peter, and Lucy, and were able to convey the wide emotional range needed in this constantly changing adventure.

This would have been a mute point, however, if not for the excellent special effects. Nothing removes me from the movie experience the way bad effects do. This is especially true in fantasy films, which must take us fully into a new world in a believable way. The best compliment I can give is to say that the effects were not distracting, and that is what was so amazing about them.

Now back to my original fears. I was pleased to find Lewis' intended Christian allegory still intact. Good and evil; justice and injustice; truth and manipulation; and sin and sacrifice are all clearly portrayed for what they are. The most powerful moment in the film comes not at the slaying of Aslan on the sacrificial table, but at the splitting of the table. This moment of destruction so perfectly conveyed the message that there would be no more sacrifice. I couldn't help but compare this to the scene in The Passion of the Christ where the veil was torn, a scene that I found lacking in conveying the weight of the message. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe does not suffer from weakness at this all-important moment of redemption--for that I am thankful.

This underlying message will set Chronicles apart for most of us. It is not just another morality play. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is C.S. Lewis’ expression of child-like faith and the movie truly captures this feeling.

It is to be expected that this movie will suffer from the inevitable comparison to The Lord of the Rings trilogy because it was put into production due to the immense success of the Rings and Harry Potter series, but these comparisons should not stop us from embracing this film for what it is--a good movie based on a great book from a master of Christian allegory.

2006-01-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

IN THE DIRT

Well today was my day off work.
So naturally my body hurts from working so much.
If you didn't know, and you probably didn't, we are putting a bathroom and bedroom in the basement. Now at first this may just seem like my way of avoiding the long hike up stairs to use the bathroom, but it is so much more than that. If you ever came over, you too would avoid the long hike up stairs. We are also holding out hope that my brother will come and live with us. We love him and he is a great guy to have around. He is also single. Now ladies control yourselves. Here is a picture of him with Zoey.

Back on point. I spent most of the morning and early afternoon in the dirt getting the subfloor ready to pour concrete. My father-in-law, who is also a great guy, has been a huge help to me with the plumbing. He however was not here today. So me on my bad knees in the dirt.

This story has an all to happy ending. My beautiful daughter ,who has been sick and crying for days, slept in my arms for two hours tonight.

This brings me to my point for today. Holding my daughter made all the work on this house worth it. I have often been amazed at people who say they want something but are unwilling to do the work needed to get it. I want a good home for my family. So I work at it. And when I look at my daughter I know it is worth it because one day she will be a teenage girl and if I don't have a second bathroom I will never get to use the bathroom at all.

Really I do it because it is worth it. And here is a picture of my brother Scott, my friend Aaron (who is also single) and me. Oh and Aaron doesn't want to make the long hike up stairs to the bathroom either, but he still says our friendship is worth it. For now anyway!

2006-01-05T12:01:00.000-08:00

What is it that makes this guy so interesting?

And why are squirrels and little squirrel like creatures so popular right now?
I ask this because I have noticed that they seem to be the trend in animated films these days.

Also my neighborhood is infested with them.
Please feel free to comment.....

.....even though I know they can here everything.

One last thing I want to ask. Did anyone else think that the first hour of King Kong could have been condensed to 20 good minutes of back story? The second hour was great, (I love bugs!) and the third hour was necessary to the story. I still wouldn't want to pay sit through that first hour again, and I didn't pay the first time.

And would it kill them to put a few squirrels in the movie? In fact why not change the title character to a squirrel and animate the whole film instead of just the special effects. I cannot believe Peter Jackson is making us wait for the Hobit because he had to do this "Dream Project".

But that's just me. Jen liked it so it can't be that bad.

2006-01-04T16:20:00.000-08:00

Where Did That Come From?

Have you ever been reading an article or book and you really like it? Then out of nowhere the author makes some statement that just strikes you dumbfounded. Where did that come from!?!

The author has stated it with such certainty that you feel almost foolish to question it and you do. Most of the time I just reread to see if I misread the first time. Sadly for the most part I have not misread and the author has given me any reason to accept it as true other then his/her word.

When did this happen? Was there a memo that I missed?
_______________________________________________________
MEMO

P.B.
We no longer need to have our writings, communication or thoughts based on any reason or proof or even train of thought.

Thank you for you cooperation,

The Brain Trust
_______________________________________________________

The hardest part is that most of the time I agree 95% of the time with people. Its the 5% that just kills me. Not that I am always right, far from it, but can we please think about things before we blindly swallow.

P.S. This is a pic of my baby girl Zoe. She communicates better then some of the authors I've read recently.

2006-01-03T15:59:00.000-08:00

Fight the Power!

Often times I have thrown up my fist and shouted at the one that I see as wronging me. The odd thing is that I have began to see how wrong it is for me to get angry with one who does not follow my rules. When did I start thinking that I made the rules? And more importantly.......why should the one in power bend to my whim?

Today's world seems more concerned about demanding personal rights then with understanding why we would have any rights to begin with.

Questions: Can I give myself rights? If I can then how did this happen? What if my rights interfere with your rights? Are we both right or are we both wrong?

More importantly if we are wrong how do we get right? And what does this have to do with fighting the power?