Friday, June 08, 2007

Public Service Announcement
It's summer, summer, summer time and you may have your lazy days all planned out, but I have a few things you should consider while you're maxin' and relaxin' outside in the pool. If I could give you one piece of advice it would be wear sunscreen. This is very important especially for all my fair skinned friends. The second bit of advice is to always remember that................

For them summer is just nuts, nuts, nuts and they don't care who gets in the way. Just look at the crazed look of sheer determination on that smug little mug. That's not healthy! That's not even remotely normal. It's like they're just cute and happy and then they snap. Pray that you don't find yourself caught between a squirrel and a nut.

I can tell you're not taking this serious so let me explain it this way. Have you ever seen that one guy? You know the one in the little brown suit, with the over grown bowl hair cut.

No? Nothing? Doesn't ring a bell? The page boy! The one the dances and sings, "Berries and cream, berries and cream. I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!" This guy.....

He's the kind of guy you'd never let date your daughter because even though he has a steady job and is really polite, you just never know if he's just going to nap at any second. Yes, we all know someone like that. We may even find it funny. See that's the thing. Lots of stuff is funny when you see it coming or at a distance, or when it's happening to someone else. That's life!

Just like squirrels. They are cute when you see them coming and when you're at a distance, but when one comes flying out of a tree going for your nut bowl that is just wicked scary!!! I don't even want to get into the fact that squirrels have been waging gorilla warfare on cars for almost a hundred years. I mean to be fair they think that the cars are predators that are consuming the people that feed squirrels nuts at parks. It is totally understandable that they would try to save us if only to continue the nut feeding cycle. Possums on the other hand are just ornery.

So take a look at this face and ask yourself one question.

No, you're not! That's what I thought. I would expect nothing less from a generation the grew up believing that Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers were really here to saves lives. Well don't believe the lie! Those little guys have more in common with this rabbit then they do with Mother Teresa, and that rabbit's dynamite.

So be prepared because you have been forewarned. Also keep an eye on that garden gnome. He always made me a little nervous.

1 comment:

Acey M. said...

:) P.B., you're always good for a laugh...

Though I must say that I did not appreciate being told that Kaleb was at Austin's graduation. My gullibility is too strong to reason at times. :(

I'll be weary of those squirrels, yes. Thank you for the warnings. Who knows what horrors could have befell me if I had not seen this post!