HOW AM I DOING?
People keep asking me how I am doing. Most of the time when people ask that you respond, "fine" of "good".
I really can't say that. I have been telling people, "I'm still breathing", as if to say, "well I'm not dead yet so that's good".
The truth be told, which does not seem to happen very much around here......
I am not doing fine.
Yes, I am still breathing, but all is not well.
I have never felt so betrayed in my life.
I have never been so blindsided in my life.
I have never questioned what I believe about grace the way I do now.
I have never found it so hard to be me.
I have never been so willing to give so much to have normal again.
I have never felt like I tried so much and got so little in return.
I have to ask myself, "Should I have seen this coming?"
You tell me........ I'm just trying to breath right now! Like I was chested out of nowhere!
If I didn't have God what would I have to hope in?
Nothing.....and that may be the only thing I really understand right now.