The Pain of Withheld Reason
One of the most painful parts of healing is lack of information. You may have the desire to move forward, but not a clear understanding as to what you are moving forward from. If you are like me then you have experienced the pain of event without explanation. This is common and the phrase “God only knows” comes to mind and is often appropriate.
What about those times when it’s not appropriate? Those times when the other person or people involved, do know the reason and simply refuse to share.
I am reminded of Jesus’ admonishment in Matthew 5, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
I have this gift that I wish to offer God, yet I am stuck in this place of wanting reconciliation. The roadblock in healing becomes how do you move past the question of “What did I do?” when no reason is given. How did I lose this job, relationship, place, _________ (fill in the plank)? I am asking all of these right now.
People saying, “You know what you did,” does not help. Nor is it Christ like at all.
Romans 14:13 states, “Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.”
As a Christian I understand that I am not to withhold the reason. I don’t get to breaking fellowship or cast someone aside. This is a particle of the flesh, and not the Father’s will. Our Heavenly Father desires us to walk into the healing of reconciliation. He asks that as much as it pertains to us we live at peace (Romans 12:8). This seeking peace does not walk off without reason, having thrown another life into chaos.
As for me, I am seeking peace even as I am left without reason for so many things. I am also left with a deeper commitment to not withholding information that would help another heal. I don’t want to put that stumbling block in front of someone else healing process, and I would encourage everyone to do the same.
One of the most painful parts of healing is lack of information. You may have the desire to move forward, but not a clear understanding as to what you are moving forward from. If you are like me then you have experienced the pain of event without explanation. This is common and the phrase “God only knows” comes to mind and is often appropriate.
What about those times when it’s not appropriate? Those times when the other person or people involved, do know the reason and simply refuse to share.
I am reminded of Jesus’ admonishment in Matthew 5, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
I have this gift that I wish to offer God, yet I am stuck in this place of wanting reconciliation. The roadblock in healing becomes how do you move past the question of “What did I do?” when no reason is given. How did I lose this job, relationship, place, _________ (fill in the plank)? I am asking all of these right now.
People saying, “You know what you did,” does not help. Nor is it Christ like at all.
Romans 14:13 states, “Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.”
As a Christian I understand that I am not to withhold the reason. I don’t get to breaking fellowship or cast someone aside. This is a particle of the flesh, and not the Father’s will. Our Heavenly Father desires us to walk into the healing of reconciliation. He asks that as much as it pertains to us we live at peace (Romans 12:8). This seeking peace does not walk off without reason, having thrown another life into chaos.
As for me, I am seeking peace even as I am left without reason for so many things. I am also left with a deeper commitment to not withholding information that would help another heal. I don’t want to put that stumbling block in front of someone else healing process, and I would encourage everyone to do the same.
1 comment:
Brian, I am praying for restoration of peace in your life. I went through a similar process when my 4th marriage crashed and burned. God lead me to New Hope (the recovery ministry at Golden Hills Church) which has now become Celebrate Recovery. At first I was hesitant about going because I thought recovery was for alcoholics or drug addicts but decided to be obedient to where God was leading me. It was the most life changing experience since my salvation! I believe every follower of Jesus should go through this process because we are all in bondage to something and may not even know it. I applaud your willingness to follow our savior through this healing process. You will find it very difficult at times but rememberyou have the power of Christ to travel this road.
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